Why David Bowie’s Death Hurts So Damn Much: Feeling The Thin White Duke Blues? Join the club. Looking back on an icon.
Even before I heard he died, David Bowie has been on my mind as of late.
My newborn daughter has enjoyed Rockabye Baby, a collection of Bowie songs, lullaby style.
I’d been listening to his excellent new album Blackstar since its release last week.
And while my wife was recuperating in the hospital, I got her the latest copy of Mojo Magazine, featuring a cover story on the Thin White Duke (the couple that listens to Bowie together, stays together).
So last night, as I settled in for bed, I couldn’t believe what was on my Facebook feed. Surely it was a hoax? Or perhaps his grandest PR stunt? He just had his 69th birthday…how could this be?
But then it sank in. The Starman was gone.
It’s one of the biggest shocks I’ve ever felt from any celebrity death. And if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you feel it too.
Part of why Bowie’s death is so distressing, is that it feels like he’s always been with us. Certainly for Generation X and onwards, he has.
Since I was born in 1971, I wasn’t in on the ground floor for his glam rock phase (unlike those lucky baby boomers). For me and millions of kids, it was MTV that put Bowie into our brains during his New Wave phase. And I’ve been hooked ever since.
For those younger than myself, it was his appearance in Jim Henson’s Labyrinth that made them first fall in love, and so it goes.
That’s the beauty of Bowie: when and wherever you discover him-that’s the perfect time. It sets you up to follow his future sonic adventures, and to backtrack to his past glories. Every generation had their jumping on point.
I remember hearing Ziggy Stardust (who I named our blue/green eyed cat after, FYI) on classic rock radio as a kid and being mystified this is the same man who gave us Fashion and Lets Dance. It made him all the more intriguing. What couldn’t he do?
[box]Ch-Ch-Changes[/box]
The term chameleon-like has been used endlessly to describe his work, but how else to classify his multi-faceted career?
And that’s one reason his presence was so comforting. As we went through adolescence, young adulthood and other major life events, he changed along with us. He showed that reinventing oneself needn’t be scary, but often a necessary tool for survival, be it in sound or vision (and usually both).
That’s why John Hughes use of the quote from Changes in The Breakfast Club showed Bowie as the patron saint of the freaks and geeks and awkward in-betweens.
That’s part and parcel of why kids who grew up under the influence of Bowie didn’t have all the hangups on sexuality that their elders did. His exploration of androgyny, gay culture and bisexuality in the early 70’s was absolutely revolutionary, mostly in how nonchalantly he expressed it. If he was over it, everyone else should be too.
Likewise, his embracing of Black American soul, Japanese fashion and German Expressionism offered a fleet-footed note of tolerance: one can only grow when exposed to different environments, and his fans benefitted by default.
We’re living in the world better off for having Bowie in it.
[box]There’s a Bowie Album For Everyone[/box]
Have you ever met anyone who hated David Bowie? I mean, I’m sure they’re out there somewhere (but I hope never to cross their path)…and he might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but due to his constant evolution, he had something to offer for any music fan.
This is why for every outright classic albums, like Heroes or Low, there are other albums like the 90’s techno-fueled Earthling, or his late 80’s proto-grunge band Tin Machine that while not quite meshing with critics and casual fans, thrilled those with more experimental tastes. (Even the critically panned 1987 album Never Let Me Down still had Time Will Crawl).
Click here for 20 Underrated David Bowie Songs
No other artist flirted with huge pop hooks and dissonant art rock as successfully. Or with such longevity and vitality.
He never stood out like a Dad trying to be hip when he hung out with younger musicians. Sure he received some alternative rock cred by touring with Trent Reznor, or his 50th birthday bash playing alongside Billy Corgan, Robert Smith and Frank Black. But one could argue that he’s the singular force behind alternative music in the first place.
Madonna, Prince, Peter Murphy, Marilyn Manson, the also recently departed Scott Weiland, and on and on and on. Practically every rock artist you’ve enjoyed since the 70’s has been influenced by Bowie in some form or fashion. They wouldn’t be here otherwise. And his work with Iggy Pop and Lou Reed proved he had the power to elevate and transform his peers.
But there is one way he remains untouchable, inimitable and singular: he was always current. Always searching, always exploring, always one step ahead of the curve. Sure artists like Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger still exist and have their faculties. But that’s where the comparisons end. He was eternally cool, and forever shall be.
[box]Farewell Blackstar…[/box]
Which leads us to Blackstar, and to the end. His longtime producer Tony Visconti discussed the new album in a tribute, writing: His death was not different from his life — a work of Art. He made Blackstar for us, his parting gift. I knew for a year this was the way it would be…I wasn’t, however, prepared for it. He was an extraordinary man, full of love and life. He will always be with us. For now, it is appropriate to cry.
One listen to Blackstar and you’d be hard pressed to imagine it was made by a man with terminal cancer. There are countless musicians less than half his age who couldn’t put out anything as powerful.
And while we now realize that Blackstar’s purpose was to prepare both artist and audience for his passing, acting like a self eulogy, the truth is Bowie has been looking at his own mortality since the beginning of his career. Space Oddity, My Death, Ashes to Ashes, Rock’n’Roll Suicide. All solemn tone poems on passing on to the next life, of letting go with grace, not panic.
Bowie was always ready. Again ahead of the curve. Then he let Blackstar into the world, and bid farewell three days later (a grand exit as only he could pull off). But we still don’t want to let go.
True confession: before I wrote this piece I came back from running errands, while blasting Blackstar in my car. When the final track I Can’t Give Everything Away subsided, I lost it. So many emotions and memories…thoughts of my father passing away from cancer, how life just isn’t fair when there are so many horrific people still milling about their day. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’m not proud to admit that I emerged from car with damp eyes and wet cheeks. But I’m not ashamed either. I kissed my wife and baby when I came inside and let it all sink in. Bowie has been with me this whole time. He even helped me through my anxieties of my wife giving birth.
And now we have a daughter who’s going to grow up in his influence and love his music, because how could she not? There’s a Bowie album for everyone after all…
RIP David Bowie 1947-2016
Thanks for sharing. I had damp eyes yesterday myself. There were a lot of damp eyes yesterday, for sure.
Nice to know I’m not alone :-). And thanks for reading!
It’s Wednesday, and I’m still gobsmacked over this. There’s a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes that just won’t go away. And I’m listening to the Blackstar album, as I type. “I Can’t Give Everything Away”
Ugh…my 50-year-old heart…
thanks for sharing.. I have been in and out of tears/throat constriction all week, listening to old Bowie and also Blackstar which is simply put: amazing, haunting, mesmerizing. Feels like a terrible loss and hard to process. His music was like a soundtrack to parts of my life so that fact that he is gone feels like bits of my young adulthood are somehow not the same. I know its best to focus on how lucky we were to live at the same time as he did. What a gift he had. So extraordinarily talented and also such a kind, humble and lovely human being. I feel for his family. 69 is too young to go….
Its nice to hear others are feeling the same….
I am 64 and I lost the love of my life on September 30, 2001. My beloved husband took me to see David Bowie in the front row and I could not believe that he was actually singing to us. I had to literally close the eyes of the man who opened mine. Every time I heard Bowie sing, it brought back too many memories of my greatest loss and now I am in the throes of tears that could fill an ocean. I am crying so hard because even though I was not a relative, Bowie was my favorite singer and I even named my Siamese kitten, Ziggy. My husband died in my arms at 56 after a battle with one of the rarest cancers; Zollinger Ellison’s Syndrome which spread to his liver and I was this year was exceptionally hard because he was 7 years older than me and now I am 7 years older than he; for he shall remain forever young as I grow old all alone; except for the present he left for me; our sun was nine and is now 23. I feel relieved to know I am not in this alone, but I was barely 23 when I was listening to David Bowie. My life is almost over now and I really do not care, because when my love stopped gracing the earth I had only my sun to keep me going on. He is now 23 and leaving home and leaving me, but he has a life to life and I understand and I forgive. I call him sun as he lit my darkest hours that have now just begun with the death of an icon who will live on in my heart. Life is the strangest thing that happened to me and it is literally tearing me apart. Thank you David Bowie for the role you played in my life and may God bless your family as they go through the dark. God breathed out and David was born; God breathed in and took David home. Rest in beautiful peace sweet, kind soul who used your last breath to say goodbye to humanity…donna Star
Dear Donna,
Thank you for sharing your life story. I really appreciate your words.
I wish you peace and serenity.
I had the same reaction. I cried all day and I’m still crying. He was many things for many generations. A soundtrack, a poet, an icon, a figurehead, rock royalty and an artists dream… I sincerely hope he’s back on his home planet, mission accomplished.
Indeed, he was otherworldly from the start. He belongs off in the stars heading towards his next adventure.
I purchased the album posted Happy birthday David on FB. bye the time I’d worked the lyrics out he had passed what an exit from this world only he could do this how brave he was to complete is final masterpiece and gift to us all the pain he must have experienced. But his task and gift to his fans. Blew the candle out in the villa of all men. X.
It is kind of incredible how he unleashed the album only to pass away a few days later. Like he willed himself to live just long enough to know it was an instant classic, then left at peace. Only Bowie could pull off an exit like that.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have found this post. Like David in Rock n Roll Suicide – you helped me know I am not alone.
I guess I should have worked through this faster, but it was slow in coming to me…I just kept waking up every single morning with Bowie songs in my head. They just keep coming. – it seems, though, as if some of those lyrics – that I already knew by heart – now have come SCREAMING into my consciousness….some so powerful –
I’ve now bought Blackstar and a couple of other albums that I also sadly ‘didn’t pay attention to’ – I don’t feel guilty because of that – we all have lots to do in life …but maybe part of me feels if we all had paid more attention to what he said it would be a very different and better world now. I’m still getting teary-eyed listen to many of his songs as if for the first time. RIP DB/DJ – we were very lucky to have you in our lives.
Thank you for the kind words! I’m so glad to see that there’s still so many tributes and stories about his life still circulating. He deserves an extended celebration of his life.
I would be one of the first to join the club! My heart is broken, I’m still trying to digest the news.
Just lovely ❤️🙏🏻✌🏻️
Thank you Kris, I’m glad you enjoyed 🙂
Thank you for this. I’ve been trying to come to grips with why this has gutted me so much. I’ve been crying on and off since late Sunday night. I don’t remember ever feeling this floored by the death of someone I never met.
I’m in the “MTV” group of Gen X’ers, too. I haven’t been able to listen to ★ yet, though. I started the first track, and had to stop it. I’ll give myself a couple more days and try again. 😢
It’ll be there when you’re ready! It’s about as good as a “final” album as I’ve ever heard :). Thanks for reading!
I’m the same.
I was 16 and at that time of year in Australia during summer, there were a lot of out door concerts… I had sat outside Supertramp venue and then found myself with the cash to go to see something right then and there I had a choice of Peter Frampton or David Bowie.
I chose Bowie because I thought the crowd would be more interesting.
We were lucky enough to get a standing position about 6 – 8 rows back from the stage..
This was in 1978 for the Heroes tour.. since that night on I had become obsessed with him.
I lapped up every piece of information I could get. No internet back then , so any book or article was fodder for me.
I followed him and his career and his Music since then. Discovering Brian Eno, Reeves Gabrels, Adrian Belew along the way.. along with many more related progressive bands.
I know every album back to front , probably every lyric of every song.
His death stunned me..
I was shocked and in disbelief when i heard the news. I thought they got the name wrong and it was supposed to be Keith Richards..
I’ve been reeling ever since.
But ok because ” Knowledge comes with deaths release” he’s now experiencing the only thing he has left with his soul.
This is a nice article a pleasant hearty story to read.
Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for reading and for sharing your recollections 🙂
Thank you for such a wonderfully written tribute. You’ve captured everything that I’ve felt yet could not express.
My comment yesterday was, you can tell a lot about a person by which Bowie they posted to social media.
Ziggy got me through art school, the Thin White Duke took over and accompanied me to work every morning……on and on, his incarnations were soothing, searching, helping us all to survive in this ever changing world! It still doesn’t seem real and I’m lost until I put a song on and remember!
Maureen, you are so right how David Bowie helped us all survive in this ever changing world! I know of very few artists that were as talented and ever changing as he was! I am grateful for youtube to see and hear him forever…
I am the same age as David. We were both baby boomers. I can’t express my grief. Thank you for expressing it so well for me. And like you, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like Bowie, and don’t want to. I am grateful to have been alive on this earth when he created so much. Such a staggering genius. Hot tramp, I love you so.
Your tears are appropriate. You’re not alone
I think this may be the most significant death in music since John Lennon…at least it feels that way for me. Thanks so much for reading.
I love when any one question the status quo, and he was expert on teaching , on how not to be afraid of any oppresive system. Let be heroes only for one day.
RIP.
My David Bowie Story.
I lived between two villages on a hill . All I had was my imagination which was full of Red Indian’s and Lawrence of Arabia. Always dressing up to get away from the grey.
I was a ten year old boy and full of wonder. I donned my sisters clothes of Chiffon and p.v.c and a bippity boppity hat, got on a bus to Chelmsford in Essex thinking i was travelling into a magic world. It was 1965 . It was grey and dark full of sneers and dirty looks. I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere with anybody but my family. I also loved running up the road in my sisters stilettos ,falling over a lot.
Obviously bullying swiftly followed when i started my schooling. I escaped the bullies by joining them but in a sneaky passive way.
Clever me .
I was in a boys club in Chelmsford walking between the gym and the trampoline. It was 1969 and i could hear this magical song playing on the radio it was DAVID BOWIE SPACE ODDITY.It stopped me in my tracks.My life changed from that moment on !
Bowie has been a part of my family ever since. He educated me fuelled my imagination made me feel I was not a misfit but one of his space cadet’s. My thoughts are with his family on this terrible day. I think I loved him. Often in my dreams. His lyrics always in my head . I will always remember seeing you in Glastonbury 2000 only a few yards away. Goodbye my brother you are stardust.
How many of you out there,
Like me,
Feel like a piece of the planet
Just broke off and dropped over the edge ?
(David Robert Jones; 8 January 1947 – 10 January 2016)
I feel exactly like that.
At least one more.
yeah .. one of the best parts of the planet
Perfectly put.
Exactly what it feels like!
Absolutely.
Definitely. My 50th year was full of personal loss and this big-picture one was the infamous straw…
Yes, I do.
beautifully said, thank you <3
Just one incident in my life stands tall…a plane ticket to San Diego-bought for me by my brother…with a welcome change planes at Detroit…I’d been listening to my Bowie collection…Detroit had a ‘smoking’ bar(bliss!) Deep red wine and many cigarettes later-I had to run & catch my onward flight…popped on my headset-up comes *Panic in Detroit*!! And there I was panicking in “actual” Detroit! This is the mightiest track for me…it actually crackles. BOWIE being a hardcore smoker was sitting on my shoulder…no one could tell him “put that fag out”…
I was born in 1960 – heard my first Bowie album in 1970 – have been listening ever since.
Legend.
I was born in 1962 so remember Top of the Pops in the early 70s with Bowie performances always standing out, you put into words how I’ve felt since Monday morning, thank you, the new videos to Blackstar and Lazarus are both haunting and beautiful.
I posted this on facebook so I share with you –
I don’t like to use Fbook to comment on war, politics, religion, terrorism, deaths, in general I keep my thoughts private, but today I will share a memory of mine –
I borrowed 3 single records from my Dads record collection for the end of year school disco, I was 10, I stuck silver tape on the labels so they would not get mixed up with the other kids records, My dad looked after his vinyl so I knew to respect his stuff, I got to play mine and was asked to play one of them again, and again, I have no recollection of the other two records but to be able to play ‘Space Oddity’ by David Bowie when I was 10 made me feel pretty fucking cool (cool Dad or what Cyril Thornhill), So as a life event at 10 years old ‘Bowie’ has always been around, I’m thankful for the vast work he leaves with us, and Dad next time I visit lets get the single out the loft, I think the silver tape might still be on the label, Not just ‘one day’ he will always be a hero R.I.P. Spaceboy
Your piece resonated with me…I am your age and feel the same way. I cried nearly all day on Monday and tears came yesterday as well from time to time. Here is what I wrote as my tribute on my Facebook (along with some photos of some of my favorites of his various guises):
I’m honestly heartbroken and at a loss for words, but I am going to try. I was born in 1972…my earliest true memories of David Bowie were from the mid-80’s…Modern Love, China Girl, Let’s Dance, etc…as a pre-teen/teen, I became enamored of the music of Duran Duran, The Cure, the Smiths, etc. I came to learn more about Bowie and listened to his earlier work, fell in love. Bowie was one of my very earliest crushes as well as musical influence. He has been a staple in my music collection since Jr high. I was lucky enough to see him on the Glass Spiders Tour at Veteran’s Stadium in 1987 with classmates. I recall seeing Labyrinth in the theater with some friends. Iconic to say the least and of course imprinting the work of Froud in the process, to become such a passion in my adulthood. The Hunger was a film I watched over and over when my friends and I explored our goth/vampire loving phases. He also portrayed one of my favorite artists, Andy Warhol in the film Basquiat. I know many of my friends share in this deep loss with me. We will always have his music and films. It hurts so much to know he’s not in this world anymore, but I take comfort in knowing the Starman has returned to his home planet. I hope to visit him there someday. My thoughts and heart is with his family, friends, fellow fans and all of my friends who are feeling this enormous loss today. I am at work, listening to the Thin White Duke, Ziggy Stardust, Starman and all of the other monikers he was given during his reign… <3
David was born 4 months before I was….and I have followed everything he’s done Since I got “music sense” in the 1960’s!
It doesn’t surprise me that he ‘left’ us the way he did…and _tes_ BlackStar was a parting gift that he carefully, meticulously fashioned for all of us.
And…although I felt sad and bad over the loss of Jimi Hendricks, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison…I never shed a tear for them.
John Lennon? Oh yes..cried quite a bit then…he was my “favorite” Beatle after all.
But, this one knocked the wind out of me…I’m still weepy today!
Thanxs so much for your words,I agree with it so much,I’m 51 and have been mad on boiwie since 1973.I still feel so numb and no it will hit me,I was feeling bad back in 2012 when I really thought he would never release another l.p but as always he came through with now 2 of what I really think as some of his greatest work.my 24 yr old eldest son phoned my wife at 7 am to see if I’d watch the news he was so concerned how I’d react,but even my 12 and 14 year old sons no all the music as it been part of there growing up.thank you David for all that great music we will never hear your like again
Thank you for your great words. They finally Made me cry,too… Having my 15 month old daughter sitting next to me and this morning was the First time I could listen to a collection of greatest Hits and blackstar again after the shocking News came in. It Hit me damn hard and I think about it all the time since then . Such a great loss. Although so much of his light stays with us and the remaining Sounds and images might bring us all a little closer to each other for the purpose of love and life… Thank you and Goodbye, Mr.Bowie!
So well said. I am 46 and part of the genx bunch with 2 penned cds of my own from mid 90s with mr Bowie as inspiration since the 70s when i bought Honky Dory on vinyl. I to am in shock and thought it a hoax since just hrs before, my Fellow Capricorn turned 69. It’s a massive loss.
I was a baby boomer.
At 15 years old in 1968 can remember sitting on a beach listening to my first experience of Mr Bowie on my transistor radio.
I’d love his music from that time to now.
I thought it was a joke when reading he had gone on face book.
What a sad time.
Thankyou for sharing….I have been listening to David Bowie since I was a kid….now he is gone….he was a Superstar now he is a Legend…it’s a very sad day….This is Ground Control to Major Tom….we will miss you Major Tom but we will always love how you touched our lives with your music….Rest In Peace David Bowie…I will watch Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence this week and will probably shed a tear or 3….:-(
Thanks for sharing, this pretty much sums up the way I am feeling. Exactly what I was thinking, how, even if there wasn’t something new or you hadn’t heard or listened for a while, you knew he was out there. A light has gone out and a little piece of me with it.
Great article! And I also named my cat Ziggy. Two different colored eyes. It was meant to be.
Same here! Amazingly I also have a dog named Lemmy. It’s been one of the most eerie coincidences knowing both their name sakes have died in the same month :(.
David Bowie’s always been there for me, through my life’s trials and tribulations. There was a period in my life in which nothing would get through to me, except for his words and melodies. Had it not been for the solace of his music, I frankly don’t know if I’d be here to write this today.
I owe him so much… the world owes him so much. I hope that wherever he is – Valhalla, Mars, a speckle of stardust in the milky way – he feels the outpouring of gratitude, admiration, love and sorrow at his departure from this world that’s now a little less bright.
Thank you for a lovely article. I was born in 1974 to very young, hip parents and they brought me in with the Ziggy Stardust album. It’s good to know I wasn’t the only one who named my cat after it… Lol! Beautiful tribute. xo
Wonderful explaining how many generations were able to connect with Bowie through his various stages. The 11th I had a deeply personal day of exploring how I was able to live so freely in own complete weridness. I soaked in Blackstar as his letter to tell us all thank you & I will be okay. Wow.
This was the perfect explanation as to why so many people are so affected by Bowie’s death. Although I have felt bad for the loss of certain legendary talents, I have never felt a personal loss over a celebrity that I had never met, until the loss of Bowie. As you stated, his artistry could speak to everyone and therefor we all felt he was part of lives, providing the soundtrack to it. I remember as a kid, playing the Young Americans and Diamond Dogs albums endlessly and feeling that this music could speak to me and this artist could understand me. The songs “young Americans” and “Win” held special meaning to me then and still do 40 years later
Thank you. There are so many of us who feel this way, who grew up better people, more creative and brave people, because of of David Bowie. Crying is the right response. How can we not grieve? The world was a better place with David Bowie in it.
I feel as though I have lost a lifelong lover. I saw him the the first time at 16 as the thin white Duke, having already been a fan. Saw him again during the Lets Dance tour. I am 55 now and have loved him forever it feels. ” Sorrow”
This is so beautifully written. My condonlences to you and your family.
Thank you Mimsy, much appreciated and glad you liked the piece.
Thank you ……..
I was born in 1960 and the first album I bought was Diamond Dogs and that was it I was hooked, I loved him then, I love him still. Thank you for your words , they are a comfort. Rest in perfect peace Starman I will miss you x
This one has hit me particularly hard–I’ve had Life on Mars in my head since a little before 2am Jan 11, and I find myself tearing up at inopportune times. Thanks for so beautifully articulating why, because I was starting to feel a little silly.
On the day I heard, I bawled my eyes out. I still cry now when I hear anything about him. I’ve been a fan all my adult life. My first album was Hunky Dory when I was just 15 in 1973. He was still in his Ziggy Stardust phase. His music has been prominent all my life. My favourite song was heroes, my wife’s is Space Oddity. We all have our favourites. I can’t come to terms with his loss. It’s like losing someone in the family.
It’s okay to cry. Real men do, when the situation warrants. And this situation certainly warrants it. Thanks for your lovely post. It’s a comfort.
And thank you for reading…and for understanding.
Thinking about how we mourn artists we’ve never met. We don’t cry because we knew them, we cry because they helped us know ourselves.
I’m one of the younger ones you mentioned who was first introduced to him through Labyrinth. When I first saw it on my newsfeed, I thought it was a hoax as well. I showed it to my boyfriend, and as we are both purine to do in these situations, immediately googled it. I’ve been off & on teary-eyed since.
I have an orange tabby cat who I named Ziggy Stardust too. Peace. Long live David Bowie!
I was also born in 71. I got my first Bowie album in 78- it was Pin-ups. My aunt gave it to me. She told me later that she thought Bowie was ahead of his time, and at that time she didn’t really, “get it”. But she must of recognized me as being a weirdo, and maybe I’d get it. My little mind was blown. And that cover, I would just stare. I still have that record and listen to it often. The cover of Sorrow is one of my favorite Bowie songs. I got “Let’s Dance” on cassette from someone and we didn’t have a cassette player so I used to have to listen to it in the car. I was always crazy excited and blown away by every new album and concert. And his music has helped me through really, really rough times. I have gone through other musical phases, but Bowie was constant.
Bowie helped shape my life in countless ways. This quote has been circulating: “Thinking about how we mourn artists we’ve never met. We don’t cry because we knew them, we cry because they helped us know ourselves.”
I really felt silly feeling so heartbroken about a the death of a man I never met. But so many friends and even exes reached out- they knew and were perhaps feeling it too.
Thanks for sharing this.
What a lovely eloquent piece of writing …. definitely brought a tear to my eyes.
I brought my first Bowie record at 7, Space Oddity. After seeing it played on tv I fell in love with it and beautiful freak that created it. I saved my pocket money and my mum helped me search high and low to find that single.
That was the start of nearly a 40 year love affair with the beautiful creative genius that was Bowie, all be it one sided and a small part of my heart always belonged to him from that day.
When I learnt of his death I was in disbelief, numb and not ashamed to say I shed more than a few tears for my one real hero. I believe the day the statesman died he took that piece of my heart that has belonged to him for the last 40 years with him, but he’s welcome to do that for all the wonderful, beautiful music and memories he has shared with me over my lifetime.
This is written with tears in my eyes, yet again, with love, great respect, immense administration for the man that not only changed my life and was the soundtrack to my life … one of a kind
Red Earthing
*starman … auto-correct, sorry
You know what’s weird?
When my dad died…I couldn’t mourn him. I hadn’t talked to him in 33 years and had just reconnected. It took me a year to be able to cry about it…and I wasn’t even crying because he was gone, I was crying because of the lack of feeling that I had about him and his death – and mourning what could have been if he hadn’t been such a jackass to me as a way to get back at my mom.
David Bowie has died…and I’m a mess. I cried like a baby when I found out. I tear up and I am mourning…deeply. And I never met the man.
But, I realized something…I am mourning the loss of a person who touched my heart and soul, whose music and presence in this world made my life better. My heart is grieving for the loss of someone who was part of my life – even if our hands never touched.
My dad was not part of my life. He did not touch my heart and soul and he didn’t make my life better with his presence. That is why I am able to grieve for the loss of David Bowie…and not for my dad. It’s because I don’t care as much.
I know…these weird things I think of when I’m lying in a semi-lucid state at 3:30 in the afternoon when I’ve just woken up for the day. *smile*
I am so moved and humbled by all your thoughtful comments.
When I wrote this, I had two concerns:
(1) That I simply wouldn’t do the man justice and (2) that it might get lost in the sea of other online retrospectives.
I’m floored by the response in the best possible way, and so glad we can all mourn together of an icon who changed us deeply even if never met face to face. I’ll be sure to reply to more comments later, but until then, thank you all so much reading. I’m glad I’m not alone.
I lost a part of me on the 10/1/16. So like his lyrics in Blackstar, something did happen on the day he died. He took a piece of us with him. That was the day the music died. Never had a dry eye since.
The circumstances of his death reveal that he was an artist to the end.
Great article …the thing about Bowie is that “he never did anything out of the blue…”
Nailed it! I was born in 1970. I’ve been driving around for the past 3 days, radio off, in a daze, crying and singing Bowie songs. You’ve perfectly captured why. Thanks for the words.
Ziggy….eternal thanks to you, sir, for the music, art & inspiration.
This was the most perfect tribute to an amazing man…I was also born in 1971, and everything you said rang so true. He lived with grace and died with grace. Thank you so much for this.
Jennifer, thank you so much!
I happen to be one those who was alive and listening to music when Bowie made the scene
I was 11 years old when I first heard “Space Oddity” … I was fortunate to have parents who were open to all types of music from classical to film musicals and the Beatles etc. … by the time I first heard the song “Space Oddity” I recognized something different.
It was in the summer of 1969 and we had this old console TV/Radio cabinet … one day the tubes and wires fizzled and my dad decided to repair it himself … I don’t know what he did but suddenly we were able to get an off-shore radio station that was playing all the Rock n’ Roll that at that time was still under an FCC ban … and there it was .. BOWIE … we wouldn’t get to hear of him again until 1973 and my brain got exploded
I missed the “Diamond Dogs” tour (illness) and gave my ticket to a friend However I did go to the “The Thin White Duke” in 1976 & the “Heroes” tour in 1978 (blew us all away when after a 20-30 minute break he came back and did the Ziggy Stardust album in it’s entirety)
And after all these years and all of Bowies permutations (some of which I do not like) he leaves us Blackstar as a final .. “good-bye, I’ll see you on the other side of Mars” … I can’t help but notice the fusion of all his works in one album … one can hear all the characters he was reflected in a single album…. the title song “Blackstar” resonates the most with me as I can hear elements of his early work from Space Oddity to Heroes in it
He is parted from us now and the measure of what we lost can only be calculated by what the Starman gave us while he was here and what we were able to glean from it … it’s hard for me to cry as I am still in a state of shock really .. the man was a huge part of my “growing up”
to paraphrase Mr.Bowie … to whatever bardo he has passed on to I’m sure he wont be bored
Born in ’52 I have been along for the entire ride and have loved every moment and adored the man. First saw him playing to a near empty house in Manchester. Just a man with an acoustic guitar. I knew then that it was the beginning of beautiful journey but had know idea it would last into my 60s.
Saw Ziggy play the Hardrock in Stretford, Manchester and was awestruck. I was by then in my own band (because of him) and the venue was pretty much brand new. My band had been invited in after the PA install to test run it for the Techs who had installed it. I had no idea who I would be watching there just weeks later. The thrill was almost too much to bear.
Thank you David, thanks for everything, thanks for the courage to be different, the courage to create, the courage to really perform and the mindset to listen to everything with an open heart and mind.
Your passing has torn a hole in my soul, it was too soon, you were too young.
Blackstar? Beautiful but not enough. I will forever be hungry for the next course.
Be at peace.
Losing David Bowie feels as though a small part of the world’s soul has died and together everyone can feel that terrible loss.
Gif you describe it so well! David Bowie is deeply missed because he was a one of a kind artist so very talentend and human- authentic – with all of his changing appearances!
Besides, he was a poet of singular capacity of writing music and composing visual virtuosos!
When Blackstar came out last year I could not believe he had been able to create such a wonderful piece -one that lasts 10 minutes – a controversial masterwork that is without any doubt of his best! I was looking forward to the release of his album as a kid (I am 62) ! Glad that so many feel as I do! The guy that passed away was our friend, never met him, never even saw him in a concert, but he spoke to our souls and that’s what a friend does!!
Great article. I’ve been sad for days – the last time I felt like this was when Jerry Garcia died. As someone recently wrote: “A part of my youth died today too”
I grew up with Hunky Dory and Ziggy Stardust (I think I have still have those 2 albums in my closet)
His lyrics now are so prophetic. I have a new appreciation for all his songs.
What a musical legend. So glad I hopped on the Bowie Bus 🙂
Haiku for BOWIE
A Starman passed by
dropping his pearls before swine
seeds in our minds
thank you SLIS for this forum and your eloquent words that so precisely describe our grief
I’ve been reading every post while listening to “Blackstar” and I am finally able to cry
thank you everyone for helping me release
Well put. As an optimist I’ve done my best to concentrate on the good fortune of having seen his shows and experienced an exciting era of innovative inspiration. He’a always been there, I could count on him for fantastic sounds of the past and new. Sometimea optimism falls short. it’s tough. I feel like I’ve lost 60 a part of my childhood, the connection to good times in my past. I’m doing my best to minimize the discomfort and celebrate the “Thin White Duke”. I’m seeing a friend perform in a Bowie tribute band here in San Francisco tonight. Emotions will high. reason for concern, but but he made music to entertain. I think he’d appreciate a celebration. I’ll do my best to do the same.
Good luck dealing with the loss friends. No harm in taking a moment to reflect on a fortunate life, one that he shared with us and we can share with each other. Remember, we are fortunate.
On the evening of the day of his passing I sat listening to Ashes to Ashes and cried silently. I felt so desolate, helpless. Like a wonderful light has gone out, one of the last in this wretched world, and bitterly aware of the fact that all goodness and youth and beauty must pass into shadow.
No other “celebrity” death has ever had such an effect on me. Bowie will be forever missed.
Great article, and thanks for the opportunity to share.The first time I saw the name David Bowie was at the age of 3 or 4, from a Peter and the Wolf LP record that he narrated. My dad bought it for me and I played that record relentlessly as a small child. That must be a subconscious reason why I loved his music so much.
I’ll always remember hearing Ziggy Stardust for the first time at my uncle’s house when I was about 10. My first Bowie CD was Space Oddity (summer before freshman year). I loved it from the first time I heard it. His music, his voice, and his lyrics spoke to me and again, made a deep impression when I was 13.
I bonded with one of my best friends in high school because of David Bowie. His dad had Hunky Dory and the Man Who Sold the World on vinyl. The Man Who Sold the World became my favorite Bowie album, and still is. It’s so hard to say my favorite Bowie track; I’d say it’s a three-way tie between Ashes to Ashes, Lady Grinning Soul, and Moonage Daydream.
David Bowie left his mark on me in a deep way that I was not even conscious of until he was gone. Rather than be sad, I feel now is the time to celebrate his life and feel the good feelings that his music and his spirit left us. He left us with so much to celebrate.
Thanks so much for writing this. It’s been hard to explain my feelings, even to myself, and you have truly helped.
Rodney Crowell, the country singer/songwriter, said on his FB page that it feels as if there’s been a huge tear in the fabric of creation itself. I couldn’t agree more.
My thirteen year old cried. He said “The Starman went to live among the stars.” Made me feel like I’ve done something right during this crazy mom ride.
At the end of the day, it’s a miracle he made it to 69. He snorted tons of coke, which could have easily killed him in the 1970s. He continued to do coke into the ’80s, and had a heart attack in 2004. Look at all this time as bonus time.
As much as I love Bowie’s voice and songwriting prowess, I have to mention that he did not write “My Death”. That is an English translation of the French song written by Jacques Brel.
Great article. Thank you for sharing.
Words fail me. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this article! My feelings are exactly the same. I started listening to David Bowie at around the age of 10 (I was born in 1968) and I think I can safely say, he was my first real crush. He has been a fixture in my life (although we never met), ever since. In college, I lived at a house with several other roommates, and in our main living room window we huge a giant image of David Bowie. When people would ask ‘where’s the party’, the response was always ’17th and Bowie’. I was heart broken when I read the news of his death (I still am). It hit me like a ton of bricks and yesterday I refused to listen to any other artist – it was David Bowie, every era, every album, all day long. For me, it’s rare to feel this way over a celebrity death, to mourn like this for a person I’ve never met. In fact, the last time I felt this way was when Kurt Cobain died. Looking forward, I’ll always have his music and the memories of my own life events to remember when I listen to it. I also have two young daughters who are Bowie fans, his legacy will live on. RIP Ziggy Stardust.
This is the best article I’ve read on why his death has hit so many people (including me) so incredibly hard. Thanks so much for writing it.
I think another reason is the nature of his songwriting, which has a character of being both very interesting but at the same time comforting. Only Bowie would put certain chord sequences and key changes together, but when he did it simply worked and was beautiful. Listen to Crystal Japan or Thru These Architect’s Eyes for example. There’s tension but not too much tension, resolution but not too much resolution. Feels like heaven.
Love to you all!!
Thank you. I felt a bit weird for feeling so sad. But, as you said, he was the patron saint of freaks and geeks.
I’m just so gut wrenchingly sad. I’m a 59 year old wife, mother of adult children, corporate professional. I’m not supposed to be so numb with grief over someone I don’t know, right?
I’ve been a Bowie fan for since I was 15. Saw him in concert many times, went to the DavidBowieIs exhibit. I saw Lazarus on Dec 28th, listened to ★ the day it was released. I was so damn happy to hear from him. So thrilled with latest artistic endeavors. Starting thinking he might show up on a talk show for a performance, if not a tour.
And then this.
I can’t stop reading articles, looking for something that will help me process this and get back to normal. I just don’t want to know a world without Bowie.
My husband says we’ll just keep celebrating him. And we will. And so will you. And we’ll get through this. Thanks for your article.
Dear PCSmith…
I feel your pain and befuddlement about feeling so sad – his death seemed out of the blue yes and my intense reaction has surprised me.
I never got the chance to see him live – you are so lucky !
Yes I feel I need know him better – watch old videos, live concerts…. I was once in the building where he lived. Friends of ours lived below him some years ago. I keep thinking back in wonderment that I had stood in the same building he lived in… what if I had run into him in the elevator as my friends did. Funnily to him he introduced himself as Mr. Jones. 🙂
We will get thru this. You are right. The article and this forum has very much helped. Its always good to feel not so alone in your sense of loss.
I am like all of you here, grieving and my sadness is just overwhelming. This death has hit me in such a way I could never imagine, he has been such a huge part of my life. I first saw photos of him at 11 years old or so in rock magazines with Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Marc Bolan and I wanted to know all about it! I first saw Bowie on Think White Duke tour, it changed my life .Have seen him 8 times, have been inches from him, have been obsessed for all of these years .Now I just can’t stop listening and reading. Beautifully written piece thank you .And thank all of you for sharing and not letting me feel alone in my grief
This article expresses it perfectly – he has been there all through my life, from my 13 year old self playing Pinups and Diamond Dogs until they were scratched beyond saving, through my young adulthood and now in my 50’s – he has been an idol and a friend and his music is part of my soul. I am still in shock and it’s pretty raw – can’t watch any footage of him without bursting into tears.
Well yes. I stumbled across Bowie at about age 13 on Top of The Pops, UK.
He blew my brain then . Instantly and completely .. a passionate love which has endured for 42 years. Have been obsessed with this amazing beautiful, gorgeous man who sang to my very soul.
I also never listened to any other music. He was all to me .Everything I needed. I will love him for ever, completely and utterly and thank God I never met him or I would not be responsible for my actions – My love, my dream, my God. David you are immortal….I look for him in every man I meet and still haven’t found it…..
The love that I have seen and read about on line for him is incomprehensible. SOOOOOI many touched by this incredible man.
I have never felt such a loss despite losing both my parents at a young age. Bowie was always there for me – how dare he leave! When we all love him so much . So essential to life as we know it. Gee this is hard.
But I still feel he was the man. Hard to listen to his music now without tears, but tears of love.
Well, a big hole.
Dont know why.
I was born in 1973. Nothing fancy, just the way it is.
Bowie always been there. But now, I feel like somebody close to me left. Weird.
Merci pour toutes ces chansons.
Merci pour Fame, Ziggy, Little Wonder, Rebel,…
Ready for launch, get on my planet…
I can relate very well to all of this. I also felt like the worst joke ever when I started seeing Bowie’s death news. I just couldn’t believe it and was not prepared at all. I’m still quite shocked.
You’re right. There’s an Bowie album for everyone and mine is Heathen. I’m also a 40 something so I grew up listening to his dancey stuff. But when Heathen came out I was amazed and reviewed his back catalog. I became an instant fan.
I remember watching the Best of Bowie videos with my infant son back in 2006. My marriage was sinking, and to make things worse, my now ex-wife told me she despised Bowie’s music (can you believe that?). She was not into music at all, so I kind of understand. So there it was, my son, Bowie on videos and myself, trying to have a good time. I used to play with him, carrying him as a flying astronaut while listening to Space Oddity. We tried to recreate that tonight but he’s much heavier. We had fun trying though. Later tonight I asked him to watch with me the video of the man playing Life in Mars? in the organ. He said to my surprise it was his favorite Bowie song!
So many things have gone through my head about Bowie the past few days. To begin with, I’m one of those baby boomers so Bowie was part of the wonderful rock music heritage I was privileged to witness. When I was 14, in 1969, I figured out I was gay so when David Bowie came along a couple of years later, he instantly became a hero – I even forced a friend to cut my hair like Ziggy, but he wouldn’t dye it red and told me not to tell anybody who did that to my hair,lol! Anyway, Bowie has been along with me through all the stages of my life, and whatever he was into was always relevant, which is amazing! The one thing I have been thinking about – well there are many things, but I keep remembering when John Lennon was killed and how people my age were saddened and in a state of shock for months, one thing many said at the time is that we suddenly feel older, that we’ve grown up a little, not teenagers anymore. With Bowie’s death at 69 it almost seems like a reminder that life as hard as we live it, doesn’t last forever, there is an ending – we are closer to the end than the middle. The genius that David Bowie provided for us up to the very last days of his life is clearly a message – always be creating, live your life up to the very last moment, don’t waste time or resources. Thank you Mr. Bowie for making this old gay guy and artist’s life a little more fun and inspiring – you were responsible for that and will forever be appreciated by me!!
THANK YOU so much for writing such heartfelt words in tribute to the AMAZING GENIUS of DAVID BOWIE, a TALENTED UNIQUE ARTIST who included MUSIC in his ARTISTRY!!!! Your piece here is Absolutely Brilliant…I am a baby boomer, (born in 1953 and raised in San Francisco, such the Hippie), and a Vietnam Vet. I also experienced the complete ride of BOWIE! The turning point and inspiration for me was the 1975 album, “YOUNG AMERICANS”. I served in the US Navy, in Vietnam, 1971-75, and almost all of my fellow Navy shipmates adored BOWIE. Upon my return to civilian life, BOWIE blew me away with the “YOUNG AMERICANS” album…I cherish my memory of one night in 1975, when my very closest friend of that time, put BOWIE’S “YOUNG AMERICANS” album on and cranked up the volume, and he repeating the title track, over and over and over, for hours. Jeff, my friend, and I were never the same again, as we truly felt the emotional energy of BOWIE from his genius. ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU for writing such a beautiful piece, and THANK YOU DAVID, for all your brilliant ARTISTRY contributed to mankind! DJ PAUL E (:-))
We are all Bowie tonight…,
Do you feel it in the air ?
Do you hear HIS music ?
One family joined as a shout rings out – “Let’s Dance” and all the young dudes, Americans , Ziggy’s , and Thin White Dukes move to the rhythm of The Goblin King !!!
We are all Bowie tonight…..
The invention of reinvention.
Hot ,Glam, Sexy, Soulful, Pop, Rock, Blues…all Fire and Ice and smooth .
You wipe away the tears and smile and remember how the music moves you….and give thanks….a silent loving prayer to ease him on his way.
We are all Bowie tonight…..
and forever.
When I heard that David Bowie had passed I thought it was a joke. When I saw it on the news, I knew it was true. I broke down and cried like a little kid. I felt that I had just lost my favourite uncle.
He has always been a part of my life, being born in 1969 I got a taste of his music in the late 70’s, but came to know him whole heartedly in the 80’s on MTV. I started to look for earlier albums and found him in his Ziggy Stardust days. What an artist. Fluid, soulful, punk rock, ballad singing, all things and always different but up to date and can hit you in the feels in a moment.
He taught me that no matter how different I was from others, to keep on being true to myself and be able to “put on your red shoes and dance the blues”. He was amazing and still is in my eyes and my heart.
My kids all grew up with some phase of David Bowie in their lives and we’re all sad he had to pass, but we know he’s up there smiling down on us:
This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most the peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
RIP, Mr. Bowie. You’ve done a fine job, rest now. We got this.
Thank you for your wonderful article
It echoed my own feelings about Bowie and his music.
I wrote something myself that I posted earlier.
Sent with love
Thank you Kenneth. So glad you enjoyed the piece!
I think Bowie would be proud of this article. It totally encapsulated so many peoples experience with him-
you totally nailed it. and condolences to the world on Bowie’s passing, we were blessed with being able to experience such an artist.
Charles, thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed the piece and thought it did him justice.
RIP David Bowie. One of my all time favorite artists. No other rock star’s death has affected me in this way. I’ve had a very close connection to Bowie, since I was a child of 8 years old. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, is one of my top 3 favorite albums of all time! Although I never met him in person, I got to see Bowie live, 3 times, and actually wanted to see him again, but it looks like that won’t be happening. I especially loved that album he released a couple of years back called “The Next Day”. That album is great the whole way through! I thought it was his best album since Aladdin Sane. I had the privilege of seeing David Bowie on his last tour, the Reality Topur, in Philadelphia, in February 2004. It was so beautiful! He brought with him, Mike Garson, a very strange and unusual piano player, with a very wild style, who’s distinct sound can be heard on the Aladdin Sane album. It was so cool hearing them play those songs with his unique piano style. He had Earl Slick on guitar, with him. I had no idea at the time, that I was seeing Bowie’s last tour. He gave it all. He sure could write a darn good song, and put on one hell of a show! One of a kind. I’m one of the millions whose life he changed.
So beautifully written, made me cry. You somehow summed up his greatness. and ALL he did. You could go to this website & enter your age, or any age, and it will tell you what he was doing when he was that age. Meaning he was ALWAYS doing something.
http://supbowie.com ❤️
Thank you Tara 🙂
I just happened to stumble upon this post. It is very moving. I had also been thinking and talking about him more the week before he passed. I was sitting in a restaurant in Nashville, Tn on David’s birthday talking about how I wish that he would tour and come to St Louis, Mo just one more time. About how much seeing him in 2004 was the best night I had ever had at a show. I was discussing how I wanted to experience it one more time. My parents always played his music and I loved it early on. I have memories of watching Labyrinth with my mom and reciting it word for word. His music has helped me when I am sick or down, it will continue to do so. I know that we did not get to know him personally but that does not change the loss. I found out as soon as it got out and knew it was true. We are all still crying days later, that is ok.
You are free now, just like that bluebird.
I too am not ready for a world without David Bowie.I was never fortunate enough to see him live.There was such a strong essence of life about this ethereal man and now there is an emptiness that just aches but at the same time such joy that he left behind music and lyrics we will never have matchedfor all time to come.Travel well through the heavens Starman and shine down on us for all eternity. Your legend lives on.
David Bowies music has been with me since my teenage years in the 70s – I feel like a friend has passed away. The only other star I have cried buckets over was the wonderful Freddy Mercury. Watching his last video and seeing him so ill was heart breaking. Now my other idol David Bowie has gone. I think for most people it was the suddenness of the news of his death that has made us feel distraught. Bowie kept his illness secret and carried on with dignity right to the end. Too many lesser stars would have made some kind of publicity circus about their illness. Yes there are many stars who are old now but they churn out the same old stuff and they are too frightened to change in away way. Bowie was different – it has been a fascinating journey to see him experiment with new looks new music etc. Re-inventing himself was not to keep up with the latest trends in music but simply to explore and experiment. He told us it was okay to dress how we wanted and if people called you a freak well that’s their problem not yours! Im going to listen to Dark Star today. I’ve seen the video of the track Lazarus – its not easy to watch – but I felt I had to do it. I sobbed all the way through the video- this is David’s parting message to us all. Listen to the lyrics. Like a blue bird he will be free – David is free of the pain of cancer. RIP David Bowie – we will never forget you.
This is an amazing article. I am as old as you are and can related to all you wrote. Yes, the departure of Bowie does hurt much more than I ever imagine it could. I watched at home for 3 h his shows to celebrate the new year 2016, not aware that he was so sick. I wish I knew… most people will really appreciate David Bowie only now that he is gone. He was an extraordinary person, a personification of the word avant-garde. He wrote his own songs, sang it, perform it. A complete creative artist, loyal to himself at all times. He allowed himself to be what he wanted to be. How many of us can do it? He learned from his mistakes, overcome his addiction (which is not an easy battle!), helped numbers of people along the way. He was also an entrepreneur, a visionary. Have a look at how many projects he started, he had great ideas! He added so much to our lives; His videos were packed with messages, his lyrics so profound and magical. I am soaking myself in his world. I can’t believe he is gone. Pressure, Heroes and Space Oddity can’t get out of my lips and the images of Black Star album are playing over and over in my head…
I am devastated. I’ve lost an old dear friend. He always felt like my family as my grandmother name was Jones and she had a blue and a green eye! I am if the Ziggy Stardust era being born in 1961 and will always be his biggest fan😢
I am of Bowie’s generation, and was shocked at how deeply his death affected me. Never a superfan, I always adored his difference, and his style and intelligence. I affected a poor-woman’s Ziggy hairstyle (I was the girl with the mousey hair – it was never thick enough, but at least I could dye it orange, and did), and felt braver about raiding the dressing-up box, because he did. Now I am old I can get away with more flamboyance than way back then, but only now do I realise that he is still a personal icon, both musically and stylistically. He was his own special creation, as I remain mine. Thank you David.
Like most people, I think, I have been shocked at how devastating the news was. I cried most of Monday. It’s the purest tribute that so many who never knew that man feel his loss so deeply. Uniquely human to mourn a stranger who wasn’t entirely a stranger. He was grace and raucous laughter and anger and joy. He let us see nearly every facet of his personality. He illustrated how limitless we can choose to be in our creativity. Thanks for your openness about how his passing has affected you. We share the loss–as we should for anyone or anything miraculous that passes from the face of the earth.
WE LOVED YOU MADLY!! ABSOLUTELY HEART BROKEN!
Still adjusting. Bowie has been one of the soundtracks playing through the tapestry of my life for the last 45 years! I was 18 in 1969 when I first encountered his music and from that day to the present he has been relevant. I had his new album the day it was released, I have most of his lifetime work. I saw him in concert multiple times. Few days go by when Bowie wasn’t playing in my car, on my computer or in the house. It was a total shock that he has left us. It hit me like a ton of bricks. When John Lennon died my youth was gone, now with the passing of Bowie Ionce again face my own mortality that will come much to soon.
His music is still here at least, but there will never be any more. I now see him as a Starman shining in the sky forever and ever. Ashes to Ashes, Love You David!
Excellent article. Really explains it all so well. I, like so many others, have been struggling this week, as I grieve a major loss. There will never be another like David Bowie, and I feel extremely honored to have had him very intimately in my life since the age of nine. That’s what’s so amazing about him…who else could have this much of a deep effect on SO many people all over the world? We feel understood by him, inspired by him, accepted by him, connected with him, validated by him, blown away by him time and time again,and genuinely loved by him, on a very intimate level, both as individuals and as a collective community. Thank you for writing this article. It expresses very well how we all feel, which is important during such an impactful time of grief all over the world.
I always though Bowie would turn into a wizard and just slowly evaporate into the ether someday. In an odd way…he did just that.
Beautiful article, thanks so much for eloquently expressing the sentiments so many of us are feeling. I hope you don’t mind my sharing my own tribute, published on the Gibson Guitar website the morning of Bowie’s death. I’m a bit older, so naturally Bowie’s impact on my life was a bit different from yours, although not by much. David Bowie, A Tribute: http://www.gibson.com/News-Lifestyle/Features/en-us/David-Bowie-A-Tribute.aspx
Not a problem, Russell, I look forward to reading it later today 🙂
I think everyone born from on 70’s on feels the sadness and loss of such a wonderful artist. He gave us not just music but fashion and the wonderful feeling of its ok to be different. Relish the different celebrate it.
Thank you so much for your beautiful tribute. I am from the same generation as you. To me Bowie was always there and that’s why it’s so hard to comprehend.
Thank you for a great article. My tears took me totally by surprise, I never became misty over the loss of of pop star, even those whose music I loved, until this week. I think that besides the grief at the loss of a cultural icon, it was nostalgia for the days when was driving “my mama and papa insane” and learning the lessons that David taught me and helped make me the person I am today. Also the days when I was teaching my daughter some of these same lessons with Bowie’s music as a tool. This was reinforced for me when within 2 hours I got calls from my daughter, best college friend, and best med school friend ( they were all crying too) offering condolences like he was part of our family. “Lord, I kneel and offer you my word on a wing” for your gift to the world of David Bowie..
One of the best Bowie posts I have read. Thank you for sharing this. I felt the same way when I heard “I can’t give everything away” – I wept.
On Monday, I woke up to the news via text from my brother. He offered his condolences to me because he knows how much I have admired Bowie my whole life. then all the messages from my friends, “I am so sorry to hear about Bowie, you were the first person I thought of..” and so on. It still doesn’t seem real. But he never really did either. I told my husband, I feel like he has come and gone so many times. He has retired so many of his personas, that this almost feels like he’s doing it again. That is why it doesn’t feel real. And 2 days after his birthday, that is so Bowie – to turn his death into art. To orchestrate it, plan it. Just like a rock star, the rock star that he is.
This week hasn’t gotten any easier. I find myself humming numerous Bowie tunes and then I break down in tears. They played Heroes in my spin class last night and I sang every word as I teared up. what a mess I have been
Then I realized something. Its hard to get older. I have been trying to deal with it since I turned 30. And death is becoming more of a reality as your grandparents, aunts, uncles and even cousins start to pass away. Even some of your friends. Bowie’s passing struck me hard.
What he represented..what I remember when I think of my childhood growing up in the 80s. A carefree time, a happy time.
I felt that a piece of my childhood died with him.
I will always miss my Goblin King.
In 1980-81, I fought and won to have David Bowie’s music in my HS jukebox. (All girl catholic with disapproving of David nuns.) So yes, he is my all time favorite artist. I also always put his name down when asked who would I like to see on our stage. My mother has met him and he gave her an autographed cd in the early 1990s. He and Iman chaired an event I worked. Around his 67th birthday, he spent a long time brousing and purchased many medieval books at the Cloisters a place I visited two days later. The sales girl was still in shock. In May 1983, He did liveaid in LA (where he introduced a very young and very nervous Madonna) the day after I left. I had to watch it on tv.
I attended Iman’s first book launch party at Donna Karan’s first store, now defunct. I have lugged all his albums, yes vinyl, from houses, dorms, and a few apartments till I lost them in a house fire. So, it wasn’t surprising that many of my friends and co workers felt compelled to commiserate me as if I had lost a family member. Another friend 11 years ago gave me his beloved 4ft Aladdin Sane poster to cheer me up when I had major surgery. The same friend emailed last spring to say Bowie was doing a play– not acting, but creating and did I want to go. Heck Yeah!!! was my response. BTW, I was in the midst of an IA stroke but respnded with my numb right hand. Lazarus is a very disturbing work ladden with death. And I will never listen to “Valentine” off Next Day again without thinking angel of death.
But I am cheered that I have and I hope you all have been having little blips of David Bowie showing up in your lives right now. A dvd caught my eye under a shoe this morning.the word “Bowie” was clearly written. I pulled it out and it’s a sealed never opened copy of Bowie in Berlin 1976-79. I don’t remember buying it or know why it’s under a shoe or on the dvd player. Which is not working. Sunday morning around 2am I began putting together a 500 piece Warhol(turns out DB fashioned himself after Warhol. Which I did not know) puzzle for absolutely no reason. I then thought of the Aladdin Sane poster to layout the finished outline. I have not looked at or thought of that poster in years. Again, I have lugged it from house to apt and taken it on buses and trains. At 4am I checked the time, and saw a trending DB message. I checked with friends in London who confirmed it. Iman’s morning message “Rise” solidified it. My phone crashed a short while later. I think it was my grief that overwhelmed technology. I’m recovering from strep right now so haven’t given myself over to grieving but have had quite a few DB angelic/light worker blips so my heart although aching, is light because I am grateful and feel blessed to have enjoyed David Bowie Jones’ many and varied creative genius outputs.
Is it inappropriate to suggest that David Bowie and Alan Rickman just joined the 69 Club?
And Lemmy at just a year older! 3 talented Brits gone in short succession.
Thank you the great article.
I am an American man that just turned 61 on Dec 30. I discovered David Bowie in the 7th grade in the 1960’s well before Ziggy arrived. A light went on in my soul then and I knew I had found the guiding light for my life. Through all the ups and downs throughout my life, and there have been plenty of both, only one voice was 100% constant. That voice never judged me, never doubted me, only consoled and advised me. I took a lot of heat in high school being a football player and listening to Bowie constantly. I didn’t care. I have loved Bowie the vast majority of my life. I have seen over 200 Bowie concerts all over the U.S. And Europe. Every time I fell in love all over again.
I have cried every day since I woke up last Monday and saw the news on my phone. Every time I talk about him to anyone, the tears start to flow anew. All week long I have been receiving phone calls, texts, e mails and Facebook posts from people that have known me. They didn’t judge or opine, they gave empathy and love. Some I have not heard from in 20 years or more. all told me that I was the first person they thought of when they heard. I was even paid a quick personal visit from my first ex wife (I have two of those unfortunately) who just wanted to give me a hug and tell me she knew how much I would be hurting (that was amazing as we do not speak to each other and haven’t in almost 20 years).
I have listened to Bowie non stop all week – everything – over and over. Fortunately I have a huge collection amassed over the decades from all over the world. I was working out at the gym today and Tonight came on my iPhone playlist. I stood on the treadmill, closed my eyes and cried. Let me close with the words of Tonight.
I am gonna love you till the end
I will love you till I reach the end
I will love you till I die
I will see you in the sky
Tonight
I love you David. Thank you for saving my soul over and over.
I echo the sentiments of everyone who has posted. I’m not ashamed I’m 51 and listening to Blackstar with tears in my eyes. It feels as if a cherished family member has passed. Thank you David for giving us your music.
I just turned 50 years old and I don’t know a musical life without Bowie in it. He was always there, always creating. Its feels kind of strange and there is a hole, a missing limb. But his music has been everywhere since last Friday. Its odd. So he isnt completely gone. Almost like a phantom limb as if an amputation has occurred. But the thought of him not out there, creating new things, is the true weight of his loss for me.
Thats the best way I can sum up how I have been feeling and will continue to feel for some time.
So enjoyed reading this. I loved to just look at him. . . his elegance, his smile, his beauty!
How would you reply to someone who is not a fan of Bowie -not me. I love him.- because of the trouble he got in long ago with the underage girl?
Hi Matt,
I actually just found out about this recently. I don’t want to justify it, but unlike Cosby or Polanski, the participant was willing…Bowie was only in his 20’s, and who knows if he even knew she was underage at the time? Plus it was the 70’s, and drugs clouded everyone’s judgment. It was certainly a different era. Jimmy Page should also have to answer as well, given he was also intimate with the women in question.
Just odd that it’s never been a hot button before until after his death. That being said, having a newborn daughter, I may have a very different perspective upon reflecting on it further. But I just don’t see it in the same light as forcible assault. It’s not the same thing IMHO. Make sense?
I just stumbled across an article about this:
http://www.inquisitr.com/2705425/david-bowie-was-not-a-rapist-but-forcing-your-narrative-on-his-victim-makes-you-one/
That’s a good piece. It seems that whenever a beloved celeb dies, the PC police feel compelled to knock them down a peg, without their ability to defend themselves.
Context is everything, and just bashing for clickbait seems to be the primal drive here from what I see.
Wow, thanks so much for writing this piece. I’ve been feeling so down as though I’ve lost a good friend and I haven’t fully understood why…but you’re summed it up really well in your writing here.
My sister and I watched Labyrinth 100 or so times and I was smitten with him and that movie was one of the only things my sister and I agreed on as children!
Now that I’m older I can hear the kind of vision he had in the way he spoke. He didn’t see any labels in anyone and he saw unlimited potential in everything around him.
I agree, we are all living in the world better off for having Bowie in it!
And thank goodness for that.
Thank god I found your article and all the rest of you who are my tribe. It’s Friday and I’m still crying about it. Yes it’s the loss of the past. Part of me died with him and although it’s an honour to send my youth with him, it makes me sad. He so richly deserved to live longer. I feel like, ‘what? You can’t leave us all behind here, we need you. You are like our subconscious, the hidden self expressing humanities dreams and hopes…. Don’t leave us here alone..’ I’m hoping like all loss, time will heal. Meanwhile, I share my grief with all of you and extend my deepest sorry. I will never forget how this made me feel.
To simply put it …
Gutted
Beautifully put!
You express what I’m feeling without being able to put into words.
David Bowie was not my favourite singer. And there are lots of songs that I don’t like. But it was exactly what you said. I have my favourite album and I have my favorite songs.
He re-invented himself over and over again and was eternally cool, eternally creative, eternally surprising, eternally unique.
Thank you for sharing your farewell with us.
Thank you for writing this. Well said.
Everyone, I’m just touched and honored to have all this positive feedback, and hear all your own thoughts on his passing. I was hoping to reach an audience, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect this going viral in the most wonderful way. Thank you all so much!
Thank you. My post echos what has been said before, but honestly I didn’t understand why it hurt so damn much. But you’re right. Bowie has always been there. Lovely article and thanks for the tears, links and words of wisdom.
Thank you Jenny!
It has been days since I received the following text from my wife:
“Ground control – we just lost Major Tom” – I’m so sorry.
I am 55 years old, I followed him from being 11 and hearing “Letter to Hermione” and I was smitten – much like the protagonist in the song. He was pure genius and his talent was art in all its forms, visual, song-writing (or poetry), audio and abstract….at times at its finest because he managed to blend them in a way that made it relevant and with a panache that few could match.
I followed all his works even through the wilderness years with Tin Machine and some of the lesser loved albums – some of which I rate. But what surprised me most was that when I heard he had died it felt like a kick in the gut, I actually felt it physically, I have lost relatives and friends and not been so badly affected and apart from knowing the words to nearly every one of his songs I know the man only through the media.
He was and always will be whatever people feel comforted by in terms of the alter egos he created…but most of all he seemed a driven man who found his peace with Iman and wanted to reconnect with his fans in later years despite poor health.
Those last albums and the Lazarus stage show must have taken enormous effort and show his care for fans and his determination to remain as relevant and enigmatic as ever he was despite the now obvious symbolism.
I miss his just being there – it’s like a light went out or the force is missing a HUGE presence. He was and remains a completely unique and revered icon, and deservedly so.
Goodnight Major Tom, thank you for the daring, the caring and the sharing of your music, art and spirit.
Clear for take off
Safe journey
Steve
thanks for this. I’m surprised at how much sadness I find in myself over this. I wouldn’t have thought Bowie meant so much to me, I sure do love some of his albums, and I saw him live seven or eight times over the decades, but it isn’t as if he was a central figure in my life. Nonetheless I find myself teary eyed when I think of him. Your article helped me understand this a bit more
Interesting article…
http://bit.ly/1P4rp04
I cannot fathom a world without him in it. I’m still crying at the drop of a hat. He was part of the fabric of our world. Even after death, he continues to make me a braver, more creative person.
I am at a loss as to why I am reacting to Bowie’s death so emotionally. Usually celebrities’ deaths have little to no effect on me. I didn’t go out of my way to listen to his music, though I always liked him and appreciated his music greatly, but he was in the background. I didn’t listen to much pop music at all.
I first became aware of him when I was awarded a transistor radio for winning a spelling bee in 6th grade. I would hold it to my ear and listen intently and whenever “Space Oddity” came on, I was mesmerized. (I also loved “Indian Reservation” by Paul Revere and the Raiders which was on the hit parade at about the same time, 1972).
Life went on, I didn’t buy records much, and was aware of Bowie in the background of my life. I lived for years without a TV, so was not aware of him on MTV. I did eventually get a vinyl album of his, “Hunky Dory,” perhaps at the second hand record sellers in Bryant Park. Loved his Andy Warhol tune. The guitar work is fabulous and I loved the satirical aspects of it. Ironically, he later played Andy in the movie “Basquiat”.
Finally in 1997, I went to hear him live at Madison Square Garden (one of only three rock concerts I have ever been to), and at the end as an encore he played Space Oddity on acoustic guitar and brought the house down, although he must have been sick of playing it by that point. This was 25 years after my first hearing him sing the song on the radio.
Perhaps even as a sixth-grader, I intuited that he represented outsiders who were victimized (poor Major Tom) and yet owned who they were, and I certainly felt like that at the time, and many times since.
I went through my records last night and found a copy of Changes One Bowie published in 1976 on vinyl. Couldn’t find my Hunky Dory though so feel a bit desparate.
This is a recording of his marvelous performance of Space Oddity that I heard live:
Recorded on 9th January 1997 at New York’s at Madison Square Garden.
I did have to really think on why this one was different. You nailed it, that Now it’s death wasn’t like other celebrity deaths. I mean, sure, death by its nature is sad, death by disease can be tragic.
When Weiland died, I was sad, but in a large part because he seemed like someone who could never quit win over his demons. I did a set of his music the next time my regular guitar club met. I was the only one. Same as when Lou Reed died.
Tonight the club’s meeting again, and I had to set up a list of Bowie songs and who’s covering them (I’m doing Young Americans and Car People/Putting Out Fire), so many are planning to play Bowie tonight.
I think part of it was that Bowie did a kind of impossible thing: he remained musically relevant for 5 decades. When a famous person dies, it’s supposed to be “young, tragic, he had so much potential”, or ‘ That’s sad, I loved his music when I was a kid”. Not someone who”s been part of the soundtrack of your entire life. That one is supposed to live forever.
You are not alone, thank you for a beautiful article. I am just one year older than you so we have pretty much the same musical memories. I have not been a fan all the time but often returned to his music because he was always there. Always. Like the reference of what music, life and attitude should be. Free and creative. This floored me, and the loss is just becoming bigger. And just like you, I too have lost a parent to cancer. Life is not fair and it’s getting more and more difficult to cope with that. So if you manage to read down to my comment, please know that I am sending you a big hug.
Anna,
Thanks for the kind words, and glad you liked the piece! Hug accepted and reciprocated! 🙂
Thank you so much for putting together this wonderful tribute to my Hero, David Bowie. Everyone who knows me, knows “I am his biggest fan”. ; )
David’s music saved me when I was 12. Two years later, in 1978, my brother was killed tragically in a motorcycle accident. I took over my brother’s record collection,(which i still have) Ziggy, Station to Station, and Bowie saved my life.. Truly. I could not believe that God took my 19 year old brother. YES, just like you, every moment in my life, there is a Bowie album that fit perfectly and saved my life.
When I finally had a child at the age of 40! My Son looks so much like David, exact same color hair, alabaster skin, and can sing like there is no tomorrow. ….
~~ I have always called David “My Husband”. He was “Such a wonderful person”.
Thank you for posting Blackstar. My friends told me to wait a while to watch it, because i just could not stop crying after his death. I had around 50 condolences messages since .that day.
And yes, i did, finally watch it tonight, and cried like a 53 year old baby. Thanks again, for this lovely tribute, to my Bowie…
Thank you so much for this article. Being a week later, I couldn’t understand why his death is still bringing me to tears. Now I know I’m not alone. I guess he touched us all in some way and made us “weird kids” realize that we weren’t weird at all. We just saw things on a different level. You were one of a kind, Mr Bowie
It’s one week later and the days don’t get easier, the sense of it all has yet to be made, if ever at all. My tears are flowing more and more frequently. I guess this is the phase where shock and disbelief have subsided and reality has set in. Bowie has really gone! Without any warning or preparation, and yet unlike a car crash or other sudden event this was something he carried, and he himself prepared for. Yet even facing his own demise, he was remarkable. There is comfort he left for us as he crossed dimensions, his gift of music. Im not talking of just the music he left behind that we can always turn to and remember, but this new music of Blackstar that even now, that while he is physically gone, we can still see, hear and feel him. Even in death, he lives among us.
His starlight has turned dark but he is still our star, look up. He is everywhere.
Yet saying and knowing all this I still feel an intense loss and sadness. I find myself going back and forth at times wondering why I feel so strongly about his death, and other times thinking is it any wonder I feel this way after feeling so connected with his music, his lyrics, him!
How can it be that there are so many people out there across the world feeling the same as I do, and yet I feel so alone in this loss and grief.
It is a great comfort to read your article, the comments from others, and the invitation to share how we feel. THANK YOU for this much needed outlet. I no longer feel as alone or “silly” knowing so many of you will just get it!
Sending love to all of you, my fellow grievers of our much loved David Bowie! <3
You are definitely not silly. I have been affected in a similar way, I still have tears over a week later. I am devastated. The world seems emptier… it’s so strange, I can’t explain it. No one around me would understand at all, so I take to the internet and find solace in comments such as yours.
This is so beautifully written, thank you.
One week on and I still feel incredibly sad, it’s comforting to know it’s not just me. I’ve been wallowing in his music all week and the lyrics have a new poignancy to them which make me well up when I’m supposed to be driving/shopping/doing the school run.
My first single bought with my own pocket money was “Fashion” when I was 10 years old. I remember taking it to my school party for the teachers to play and getting some funny looks. Most of my friends were into Abba, Boney M and music from Grease, I didn’t care about the funny looks, I’d found my type of music. David helped shape my taste in music from then on.
Thank you David for making music for us misfits.
Hey I was also born in 1971 and I didn’t realise until I learned of his death how he has always been with me, always a song to every phase of my life. Over a week later, and I am still distraught, I don’t understand it, I have never cried at a celebrity death, ever. But there was something very special about him, as well as his music. The world is certainly a sadder and less colourful place, it really feels like something is missing.
I am so glad there are others who feel like me. The following Wednesday, and I still wake up David Bowie and cry myself to sleep David Bowie. I was expecting to feel normal again by now but the world is not the same anymore, it’s still flat and empty and weird. I saw two magpies this morning and wondered if that meant he is in fact in heaven? I hope so.
For some reason I keep wondering if he knew how much he meant to so many people. He was just a man after all and he gave up a lot of privacy to live the life he did. You can see in early interviews he was a bit evasive (and hilarious) and did not really want to let people into his personal space – who can blame him ? As the song says.. .He could not give everything away. I just hope he felt the love and that it was all worth it …and that he truly felt the appreciation of those who did not know him but felt a connection thru his public persona. It would have been amazing to know David Jones too, but he drew the line. I would love to know from his family at some point if he knew how well Blackstar was received. He was alive for a few days afterward the release so I would like to think he was able to take it in and bask in his amazing accomplishment.
I would love to read a biography about him. I wonder if there are any reputable ones. Maybe Toni Visconti will write one.
Thank you for writing this. Happy to know I`m not alone with these feelings. Ten days later still so sad. I’m ashamed to tell people around me, I’m a 50 year old down-to-earth woman and never met the man!
David Bowie came into my life when I was in my teens. After ABBA and stuff like that, his music hit me like thunder. I also was struck by his appereance. Not the muscled dreamboy. Skinny, with vampirish looking teeth, intriguing eyes, great smile and so, so cool. Rumours about a the size of a certain bodypart was too much at that age. I fell in love completely.
I watched the movie “Christiane F” about heroin addicted children in Berlin. The message in it was not to do drugs, children be warned. Bowie performes in the movie in an almost empty theater. OMG. At that time I would have done heroine or even sold my soul tot he devil to be that close to him as the girl in the movie did. All worth it.
I grew older, listened to his new albums, visited a Bowie concert twice and forever he stayed Mister Cool. But I got over being lovesick and the total admiration declined. I kind of lost him a bit in the Thin Machine periode, but always listened to his older music. Sometimes wondering what song to pick for my funeral. No doubt there should be a Bowie song. (Wild is the wind?)
Then he died. I couldn’t believe it. How could some one immortal die? I spent evenings and nights on the Internet watching video’s, interviews (oohh I fell in love again, him being so intelligent and humourous) and comments on his life and death. Still I cannot listen to Black Star or watch the Lazarus video. Too painfull.
The sadness stays. Guess it is because he’s always been in my life since I was 12 and in my mind he became part of it. So I’ve lost another part of my past. It confronts me with the finiteness of everything. But most of all because his music was so great and companied (or even created) times and emotions in my life that I will never forget.
Bowie was bigger than life. He conjured up a magic in us through his everchanging personas, each one immortal. The reason it hurts so much his music has elevated us away from our life our insecurities the mundane simple existence. Bowie completed us. Now he has gone the void is there once more.He was not a normal star, he was a Blackstar.
I just read your tribute and reaction. I’m still suffering from the Bowie Blues. Here’s my personal story…it mirrors a lot of your post. Thank you for sharing. As a bright friend of mine often says, you are not alone.
I just realized I wept for a stranger today…
but then, he hasn’t been a stranger since my childhood.
I grew up in a rural town. A safe place. A home for families with very little crime. It’s a place where people say, “there’s nothing happening here.” This can be good and bad. Nothing happening can mean, nobody’s getting robbed or shot, our children playing without fear. Or, it can mean that there’s nothing to do, no progress, no excitement.
As children, we make our own world. Adventure can be had with only sticks for swords and a box for a ship. Our world of imagination is as large as we want it to be.
A movie came out when I was 11. It was Labyrinth. I know now that this was Jim Henson’s film about a teenage girl discovering that she could hold onto her childhood, even though she’s growing up – that she could be herself. As a child of 11, I only cared that it was Jim Henson, that was the father of the Muppets and it was awesome.
Secondary to the muppets, for the younger me, was this odd man, with big hair and too tight ballet tights that was somehow a villain but lovable…and he sang wonderful songs that I danced around to. I had no idea who he was. My parents liked music, but they were more likely to be listening to the AM radio hits of the 70s and early 80s. Sure, the occasional song may have popped up but it was by no means something they introduced me to.
Seeing somebody like that, a crazy-looking madman dancing around on the screen with goblins was amazing. I wanted to be the Goblin King. I wanted to do what I wanted to do.
By the time he was Jareth, he’d played so many characters, Ziggy Stardust, the man in a thrift store dress, Aladdin Sane, The Thin White Duke, and others. As I’ve aged, he continued to play new roles. Of those, my favorite has been most recent – The Elder Statesman. Seeing your idols age is not easy but there’s a comfort in knowing that they do age. While their music will be immortal, they are in fact, no matter how many roles they may play, human. Being not too far off from my father’s age, this version of the man is exactly the kind of inspiration I need at this time in life. It’s my dad I look to when I think of the model for the kind of person I want to be. It’s the Elder Statesman that I want to hear from. We all need mentors, wise friends, and confidants. And, the elders in our lives are often the best ones (though I know some very clever young people as well).
My path has been very different than the Thin White Duke’s. I got married in my early twenties, worked in a small town, did a bit of art, a bit of writing, and raised some kids with my amazing wife. Now, I’m getting to do more, spreading my wings as an artist.
Today, my world is full of goblins and other creatures in my art. My prints feature beasts that have clear inspiration from my love of Henson and Brian Froud’s creatures.
In my writing, music often plays a starring role. Right now I’m working my way through writing six interconnected stories on the Satanic panic/cult scare of the 80s. My take on the events that took place in my small town, a time of almost modern day witch trials. There are frequent references to music in the tales, from the ever-present Guns ’N’ Roses, to Echo and the Bunnymen, to INXS. As I sought out a song to fill a scene, there was only one choice – *Rock ’N Roll Suicide*. With its slow build and strong finish provides exactly the feel for the moment. His work has inspired me for most of my life.
The examples of his impact on me could go on for pages and pages but, as I reflect back through the years but I’ll only share this one. While driving down many highways – be it down snow-packed Highway 2 in Nebraska, in the hot summer sun of the Pacific Coast Highway in California, and many more, *Kooks*, off of *Hunky Dory* is always present. The whole album is a favorite for road trips, but Kooks is the pinnacle track. It was written for David’s unborn son, and it seems to reflect perfectly on my crazy family as well.
“We bought a lot of things
To keep you warm and dry
And a funny old crib on which the paint won’t dry
I bought you a pair of shoes
A trumpet you can blow
And a book of rules
On what to say to people
When they pick on you
‘Cause if you stay with us you’re gonna be pretty Kookie too”
We love being kooks. It’s good to know that a guy that was like an ever-evolving imaginary friend, who stayed along for the ride through my life, was able to give one final performance. Now when I listen to *Blackstar*, I know that my imaginary friend will stay with me, as the Elder Statesman, until the end. And, that we, all of us, will always be kooks.
Just like in Labyrinth, David Bowie taught me that growing up doesn’t mean letting go of your childhood. Your imaginary friends are still there when you need them. They’ve just grown up with you. They are just there, in the corner of your vision. Mine’s floating in the most peculiar way. What’s yours doing?
It’s 1/20/16, 9:20pm and I Googled my thoughts on how I been feeling about David Bowie’s death. Its been over a week and I can’t stop crying, and I NEVER saw him live, but loved his music, grew up with it, always thought he was a “blue-eyed soul brother” under the skin. Even writing this, tears are falling from my eyes. I feel more over his loss than some of my own relatives, (I know that may sound horrible, but its true). I don’t know what it is, but I always thought he, (Bowie), would live forever, and the fact of his passing, only makes me question my own mortality. I miss him, even though we never met, but I loved him for what he gave me.
I do take some comfort in knowing that I am not alone.
[…] project dealt with his aging legacy, made even more poignant in light of the recent death of his friend and collaborator David Bowie: “In American life, because it’s so hypercompetitive, what happens when you’re […]
I thought I was alone in these feelings. I too have a deep feeling of loss . This hollow feeling is indescribable, it is so not like loosing someone close too you but like loosing a piece of yourself, I only new the showman.
I can only imagine the pain BOWIE must of been going through to deliver us BLACK STAR. We always knew what he was up to but we did see this coming. I was ready to see BLACK STAR promotions the BOWIE way. We certainly didn’t see this one. He saw our the happiness of us and not this SORROW we now have. Lets us now think of his family who have the true loss.
Thank you BOWIE for sharing your life till the end. My family now have 3 generations to carry your music on for ever.
Lets love and embrace this genius and play his music and videos (pay for them too $$) he deserves it.
Thank you BOWIE fans too for sharing on blogs like this, till i got online and started reading I thought I was loosing it.
Hello fellow Bowie lovers. I felt like a light went out when I heard he’d gone. It felt like ild been unplugged from the mainframe. As if the power changed. It was the weirdest feeling and I know you all felt it too. I think we shared a collective consciousness from his music and when he died, the lights dimmed and the power source shuddered. Some people represent our hopes and dreams, it’s a big task to place on one person. But that’s what he did and we were not ready for him to die. I’m not feeling as bad as I was but I had to stop the feeling. Felt like emptiness, like the light was fading. But I’m fighting the good fight and I urge you all to chase your optimism and hope. We ve all suffered a blow, and in time we can reconvene and work out what his death represents and what the messages from his final work mean. Fight the good fight fellow sufferers and try to feel ok that we shared the planet with him. Xxxxx
I have just been searching the net for why David Bowie’s death is so depressing, it is certainly making me feel depressed, i was born in 1972 and i’m a DJ, so really appreciate his music, but i just can’t get over his death, or more so i am so astonished by his death. No other death has affected me as much. The same as some of these people leaving comments say, i think it must reflect something inside of us and what we think about ourselves. For me, it means a lot of things, he was so talented, (why didn’t i do something more about my musical talent) it also makes me think about my life a lot and what the f*** have i done with mine as i haven’t done half the things i wanted to do, it also makes me think that since the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s there has been no one really to aspire to in music, no one really makes good music like the muscial greats like Bowie, the closest you get to it is Muse, i can’t stand R n B, dance music is good, but its still not super talented like Bowie and Co, record companies don’t work in the same way they used to which is utter Bol**** – everything is so easily accessible, i really do hope someone makes a movie about David Bowie, i also hope that his wife and son come out and do some kind of interview because as much as he wanted to hold back on keeping his personal life private, it comes with the territory and the people loved him and still do, i know it must be very hard for them. i have a 5 year old son who i am educating with music, i’ve been playing him alot of Bowie’s music, before he died, i played him ska music, the police, bowie and many others, we hear dance music and todays pop music on the radio, but i want him to listen to real music, from the heart. There is no one breaking boundaries any more with music.Bowie was outstandingly great, he was a hero. its the 22nd of Jan and i’ve been digging out my Bowie music and play it daily. When i bought Blackstar, my little boy said to me ‘Mummy his heart is in this cd, maybe he will come back alive’ – there is some truth in that – Shine bright David Bowie, your life will carry on through your music, i just hope that in thousands of years to come people will still remember as life moves into the 4th dimension it does make you wonder, dinosaurs are extinct, so will humans one day.
I continue to be so moved and amazed by all of your comments! Thanks so much for the kind words and sharing your own thoughts on Bowie.
It’s funny, I thought I had worked through it, but then I saw a rerun of VH-1 storytellers and got hit again.
He was the best!
I thought I was feeling better too, then yesterday I walked into my local record shop HMV and they were playing “Wild is the Wind”, Bowie was everywhere, books, cds, magazines, I had to leave before the song finished it was all too much.
Last night I watched this: http://bbc.in/1NlKZBP
It’s a great programme made two years ago; lots of interviews with David and many of his collaborators.
@lala and others. I totally get it. I also have never been this impacted by the passing of a “star”. I agree that it’s partly the memory lane we go through. For me that’s a lot of it. I started looking back and listening to his music and the memories came swarming in of such a different time in our world. I had forgotten about so many of the early classics and was stunned to look at them all in one sitting. Holy crap he had such a vast library of work! I was crying for the first week. I could not hear Changes without losing it. I was obsessed with Youtube discoveries and a documentary they are making available on demand on shotime. I am trying to wean myself off and get back to my regularly scheduled programming. But I guess I haven’t been too successful at that yet as I have found my way to this article😉. He did have an amazing life and left quite a legacy. Station to Station and Heroes are my faves. But have also been enjoying much other stuff as well, mostly earlier. But I am sure I will make my way through more recent catalogue too. I too am glad I’m not alone in this visceral response and experience. Carry on starmates!
I am devastated, and feel like I’ve lost someone so close to me. I feel like I didn’t appreciate David Bowie enough while he was still alive, I feel so guilty.
The world will never be the same again, how can we live without him, no one can ever live up to him.
I can’t stop crying almost two weeks on, how can we go on?
I recall how we lived, on the corner of the bed, la, la, la, and we’d speak with our eyes of the closeness in or lives. Yes David taught me how to feel the world around me and move though it with amusement and joy for the speed of life. Living in LA I found Bowie when he was Doing covers of other peoples songs in 1971 or so with his album Pin Ups after briefly hearing him in 1969 with Space Oddity. then years later after Ziggy and Diamond dogs, I found a Lad Insane and painted my face like him while my girl friend painted herself as twiggy from Pin Ups.
People stared at the makeup on our face and one even asked why we did this ( I humored that I was looking for the chair to which she was making her point of view) then smiled sadly for the love I could not obey.
Many years later I found myself in Montreal watching the Glass Spider tour and I looked at the audience and sure enough they sat on their chairs like they were watching an opera. (One must consider that in Montreal Pink Floyd is a family event.) I marveled at a Rock Star who could have such command over the audience as to see him in the light of an operatic adventure with the spider and the stage props and the people oh so mesmerized.
Every friend I have ever taken into the folds of my life or been taken into theirs I shared my love of Bowie. Everyone who remained a friend loved him too. Their are people I haven’t heard from in many years that have left comments on this page. David I am sure you know which way to go and thanks for buttoning down reality to my eyes in your last video Black Star.
I am not sure how to thank you SLIS for making a site where experience, pain and joy could be shared for the Thin White Duke while bringing together some old friends.
I Bless you sadly
Thank you for expressing your grief in such a relatable way. 13 days in to his death I’m still a wreck and starting to wonder if there’s more to his passing and the grief I feel than just the death of an icon. David Bowie may have literally been from another world, his death is as profound as Lennon’s, JFK and frankly, not trying to be all insane sounding, Jesus. I’m heartsick.
And f course you saw this answer coming bu5, “Your not alone, Give me our hand yes your not alone, yes your not alone.
I found our post moving and vibrant. I too agree he was perhaps not from Planet earth so blue but rather from the life on mars.
David had an eye that saw way beyond this creature fair and told us where we stand. I fell for your words of grief and hope you move well through these dimensions of emotional expression and come through the other side with a heart full of what you know to believe. I think He would have loved it that way.
Thank you so much Paul! I’m so glad you enjoyed the piece.
I feel the same way, really sad. Can’t stop watching David Bowie’s videos. Not sure why I feel this way, because I wasn’t even that much of a fan when he was alive, but I do…
I am feeling the same Inga. Maybe it was the comfort of knowing he was still around. We watched him from the time he was very young until the elderly man he had become during our life. It’s a mortality smack in the face. A bit of us all died with him I think.
Three weeks now, and I’m still in a state of disbelief.
[…] get to the core of the inner self. Slis attempts to explain why his death hurt people so much, in Smells Like Infinite Sadness perhaps surprising people with the wallop of emotion that processing the sudden death of Bowie […]
I’ve been listening to the whole catalog in sequence. And the comments still coming on this board to this heart-led article let me know it’s not over. I’m a songwriter and performer, and had a dream the night before he died, of a person in a hospital bed, singing a song. I dream songs in this way a lot, but there was something strange about this – I didn’t feel it was my song – I was singing for someone else. That evening, the news came into my phone via texts, some understanding how much it would affect me, others more callous, like it was just another bit of news. At that point my interpretation of the dream became, this was Bowie, Jones the man. I don’t know how many of you believe in this sort of thing. Interestingly, I told someone I respect about my dream, and she told me that she had a dream that “Bowie is going to be speaking through the artists.” I wish he hadn’t suffered so in the last years, a suffering I hear powerfully in the last singles. An astonishing ‘exit’. (Though I don’t, personally, see him as a ‘black star’ – in my view that was something else… His full self was MULTICOLORED….) Anyway, his spirit changed humans on earth magnificently. That spirit does not die with that body, not at all.
Ethan
creative people / artists are connected
Indeed David had many colors and is missed so much
Few people leave behind as much as he did so let’s continue to enjoy his legacy
while we can
Thanks Davide…. I’m listening through the whole catalog, even albums I never listened to before. But also…. we all must create the new reality we want.
All I could think when I was done screaming was how can the world go on without David Bowie? I stared obsessing when I was 14 and named my cat after him and bought every LP. I can’t even begin to say how sorely he will be missed. He was my Spider God.
I too was born in 1971 and although we grew up hearing “Golden Years” and “Fame” playing on the radio, we were too young to appreciate the man behind the voice. My first real discovery of David Bowie was “China Girl” on MTV. “Let’s Dance” became a staple in my home. I am still in deep mourning. I listen to Blackstar on my way to work and back. I watch the two videos every day. I am filled with sorrow that he is gone. His Lazarus video tears my heart out and I find the Blackstar song absolutely beautiful. I hope that David knows and feels all the love of his fans in our sorrows and tears. Just to know how much he meant to us all.
I hope he does too! I’m still a sad mess, this is hitting all Bowie lovers world wide . I am just glad to know I am not alone in my grief, it is hard to explain to others who do not understand
It still feels wrong. David Bowie dying should have been outlawed. It really won’t do at all, ffs.
Hello everyone…wonderful to see so many great comments still coming in for my article. The response has been overwhelming!
Just wanted to share a wonderful quote from The Cult’s Ian Astbury, talking about how he’s still so affected by Bowie’s death via Consequence of Sound. He sums it up so well (I hope I get a chance to interview him someday!).
“I’m sure you’ve observed some of the UK media that’s like, “Well, we can’t have this. That’s enough blubbering, now. It’s getting childish.” No, motherfucker, the sky fell. The sun went out. Feel the weight of this. He was a sentinel, exploring the human condition — the spirit. Science and Nietzche had put us in a place now where we were considering our experience in a very different way, but the church and science couldn’t explain everything.
So here we are in modern society, in our glass and concrete buildings, all of a sudden going, “What’s going on? What is this? What is this longing I have?” Robert Blythe said it very eloquently. He said, “When men and women lost touch with wild animals, that’s when things started to go awry.” If you don’t feel the weight of that, then you have no heart. And here’s an artist who came through leading that parade of individuals that were feeling that sentiment and giving us a text to live by. I’ve been raised by David Robert Jones. He was my father, the father of many of us. He informed our spiritual beliefs, our dress codes, our philosophies of living. Maybe a year after I heard “Life on Mars?”, I’m at school with blue food coloring in my hair, being thrown out of class.”
Its a month tomorrow since he passed and I am still devastated. its a devastation i can’t put into word, it just hurts… I can’t even listen to his music right now, I’m in mourning.
Totally agree. I also have not listened to his music since his passing. I saw Lazarus on 12.6.15 so know most of the music and had pre ordered the album. Even bought The Man who fell to Earth book and film in November. But my dvd player seemed broken so never actually got to watch it — hadn’t in eons, but was not necessary for watch/understanding Larazus. But still cannot listen to his music. My new high school mentee went to my high school alma mater I was so tempted to ask her if his music is still in the jukebox. But I don’t think they still habe one 35 years later. I’m loving the youtube videos snippets of him goofing around however.
I’ve loved David most of my life… From the beginning of his carrier… Through my lonely teenage years he was such a comfort to me. I would daydream that he was with me drying my tears as I constantly listened to his music… I had no friends… Only David Bowie…
I went to 3 of his concerts in the seventies… The last one was in 76… I ran to the front of the stage with the crowd. I was pinned against the stage crying my eyes out that I could finally see him up close. I was a dream come true! For some strange reason his eyes met mine and he kneeled Down in front of me As he sang looking into my eyes… I felt my heart stop and my knees turned to jelly. Thought I was gonna die! LOL…
My love and admiration lasted to the very end of his life… And it will never end… When he left me it was more than losing an old boyfriend… I depended on him for comfort and friendship all my teen years… Don’t know what I would have done without him… …
A part of me was taken away and a huge hole was left in my heart when he passed… that even after a month has passed since he left I just can’t let him go… Memories flood my mind and heart of my youth and I am flooded with tears and pain…
I will always be grateful to G-d for giving us David Bowie… RIP dear man… <3
It’s 11.20pm one month after David bowie s passing and I have had to get up because I can’t stop crying 😢. I still get caught out by a song of bowie’s playing or just a thought about him, I have never had anything affect me like this. I am so scared that people will start to forget him and that people will eventually say David who?. Am I the only person out there who still feels so much grief,it feels very lonely here. Congratulations to Duncan on his news of becoming a father, I’m sure your dad will be very proud of you.
You are not the only one…
No, you’re not the only one. David Bowie has been in my thoughts most nights for the last month as I try to get off to sleep. There’s still a sense of disbelief that he’s gone. I try to remember that, however badly David’s death has affected me, there is a family somewhere in Manhattan that has lost its husband and father. That gives me some perspective on my own grief.
oh no love, you’re not alone ……..
Bowie crosses my mind at least once a day
I wonder what will happen to music now that he’s not here to push the envelope
and who could possibly be the Earth’s ambassador when the aliens come (LOL)
I’ve lost a lot of people in my life and I grieve quickly now-a-days
but in this case I can’t imagine a world without him in it
SLIS…
We’ll it looks like people are healing a little now… There hasn’t been a post since February 10… I’m sure that I am speaking for all the other’s who stumbled across this page looking for comfort to ease their pain…. THANK YOU SLIS for helping us to heal. Losing David Bowie was a tremendous blow to our hearts… Some people thought us weird or crazy for mourning over our loss for so long, but through this page you introduced us to others who were just like us… It was so comforting and healing to read everyone’s stories, and to finally let it all out and speak out our own minds and hearts… Bless you for helping so many people! <3
I am still mourning his death and I find it painful to watch Lazarus as it fills me with sorrow. David Bowie’s death was devastating to many while others didn’t care. Death is a part of life that we all dread but how wonderful would it be to see those we lost in this life again! Just a comforting thought!
Same here, Shawna. I haven’t been able to watch that video since January 10th. And I loved it so much on the 7th! It has been a tremendous comfort to find this post and realise that there are many out there who deeply feel the loss of this extraordinary man.
Shirah,
I’m so glad you found this article helpful…I’m just relieved my sentiment came across as intended and was well received. Thank you for the kind words!
Wasn’t it nice to see David bowie’s touring band doing the tribute with Lord e on the brit awards last night. I hope it helped to bring some sort of closure to the people he worked so closely with him for so many years. I know it was a great help to me and the brilliant speeches given by Annie Lennox and Gary Oldman were very moving, it helped me realise that David will not be forgotten anytime soon.
Yes – agree Julie …. The tributes and speeches felt very authentic and substantive – appropriate to his significance to so many – as much as I love Gaga I was not a fan of the medley format ….the way it was handled was very therapeutic to those of us still processing his mortal absence – well done Brit Awards Show.
I need to see the Brit awards tributes. Agreed on Gaga, that was too rushed and messy. Wish she’d just belted ‘Life on Mars’ in its entirety. That would’ve been a showstopper.
I looked up Lorde’s tribute on youtube and I liked it.
By the way, I’ve been watching this one show on youtube as well – Live by Request with David Bowie from 2002. David was so happy and charming there… And now it’s no longer on youtube, so sad.
Try this link Inga! I’ve been listening to this for weeks too. The FULL CONCERT! Just watched some of it this morning, so its there! Check it out here! 🙂
http://youtu.be/eQq4FH81jd0
Thank you so much, Shirah! I can watch this video again. How wonderful 🙂
Finally saw the Lorde performance…good stuff! Funny that she did the song that I thought Gaga should’ve performed. Speaking of older Bowie performances…this is from his 1997 50th birthday NYC show, with guest musicians like Robert Smith, Frank Black and Dave Grohl. One of my favorites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9IzzUBTbkM&list=PLnkGNgShAC2u-6ZmnizO9iyu5KXlMEpr2
Glad you have it back Inga! I watched parts of it this evening. Such a gem this concert… 😀
Thanks for sharing that 50th birthday concert SLIS! Forgot all about it! Will have a look!
Been watching a lot of his movies recently as well. There is some good stuff! More than I realized too!
Here is a little something to make us all giggle a bit… David was a very funny man… Well, just have a look ^_^ :
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B4D0_o_f2bQ&autoplay=1
If you guys are interested in rare Bowie films, check out “Baal” from 1982 (if you can find it) … Bowie in the lead role .. BBC production … based on a story by Berthold Brect
Thank Shirah, just watch your link to the david Bowie comic relief piece. Yes it did make me laugh and it was something I would never have seen otherwise. It’s really good communicating on this sight as it brings people closer together and we can all share such good memories of David Bowie (sorry can’t just call him David, he deserves his full name) with each other that we would never have known about. Thank you everyone
I am so sad he had left us. Long live the king.
You see, it’s more than two months now but I’m still looking for articles that shared my grief, or remorse. Odd enough, I always knew his existence but never a fan. Two years ago I got to see Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence on a big screen. He’s so great in it. I can see why the director just wanted him to play Celliers.
After his passing, I clicked some of his live performances out of curiosity, and I’ve been addicted ever since. I asked myself what took me so long to discover him, I mean in a real sense, but I just told myself it’s better late than never.
Here is something very special… 🙂
Maybe you guys have seen it already because it was made not long after He passed on… It’s a tribute from different celebrities/musicians.
Just when I think that my heart is getting over him leaving us, I see something like this and I realise that I don’t think I ever will… This video made the tears flow again… :'(
Have a watch… <3
http://youtu.be/NPwDqIUDNpE
This was an awesome read. I’m only 20 but I was always raised on the classic rock genre and older movies. For whatever reason my infatuation with Bowie started at such a young age while watching the Labyrinth. After my dad noticed how much I loved him he showed me some of his concert videos-like Starman or Oh! You Pretty Things . From the age of 10 until now I’m still listening to Bowie every single day and I can’t stop. You can find a song for any difficult time that you’re going through to help yourself out in life. And now that he’s passed it feels so empty even though I didn’t know him personally. It’s one of the weirdest feelings ever to miss someone you didn’t even known but I’m glad to know I’m not alone! Keep your heads up spiders 🙂
Emily, thanks for your comment! My wife also discovered Bowie through Labyrinth. I think that was the gateway for many to his music.
Beautifully written…thank u so much. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one that is so saddened by him leaving this earth. I miss him terribly. He was an amazingly beautiful person. Thank you again for helping me deal with my grief.
You’re welcome Margie! Glad you enjoyed the piece. I’m so glad that there’s a continual outpouring of love for his loss. Not many celebrities carry that much momentum.
The momentum of grief over David Bowie is indeed something else. I’d argue that David’s loss is more significant than those of Elvis and Michael Jackson, because David still had so much more to offer as an artist. Blackstar shows us that. I listened to Blackstar again yesterday, and at this early stage I cannot separate the album from David’s death, and it’s too painful to listen to. I’m so happy that I’m not a freak, that there are others out there who feel like me, and that we have gathered here. Thank you SLIS.
I grew up with bowies greatest hits and always liked the darker stuff. When I first heard modern love I thought it was kind of cheesy and over time it has become a top 5 song of his for me. I think because now knowing how he was healthy and happy at that time. And to be honest I never much cared for fame or fashion, but now I appreciate the thin white duke era. I guess I never really realized bowie was a limited time only artist. Meaning He never stayed comfortable and maybe I didn’t appreciate that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a profound loss over someone I never actually knew or met. I really am having a hard time getting over this. When I hear space oddity now, it’s hard not to tear up. As I’m writing this ziggy stardust is on the MTV live channel and I know if I switch it on its just going to make me bawl like a baby. Anyway , I’m glad I stumbled across this thread so I could add my feelings. Peace to all you bowie fans.
I’m very grateful that you put up this site. The death of David weighs on my mind almost daily it is almost like this year hasn’t started. I have empathy with most of what you said except your comments about losing your father. When mine died I couldn’t care less. He was a homophobic racist bigot for whom David’s music was an oasis for me. I told someone nearly two years before 1/16/16 that if we ever lost bowie it would hit me a lot harder than losing anyone in my own family. I was right. I have tried to put up comments every now and then in my own blog site. https://plus.google.com/ I would appreciate anyone who would like to visit. There are not words to express my love for David. I would have ripped outa vein for him. The word Helden would not be sting enough. For many of my generation he was nothing short of a Saviour, it is not an overstatement to say without him, many of us would not be alive today. Thus I cannot use the expression “RIP” because for me he lives on, through us, the kids from working class homes, broken homes misfits and the drug addicted, for whom He made our lives better, because he spent some time our way. Bowie Forever. Bowie Lives.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts in this article . I related to your experience , in that I had been a long time fan . Yet didn’t discover Bowie until 1980 when he released his Scary Monsters ( Super Creeps) album . I was lucky to see him live in 1987 during his Glass Spider tour and they filmed the night I was there for the video release . I was driving in the car with my 16 son one day about a year ago , and he hooked up his iPhone and played Moonage Daydream . I was thrilled that he had discovered David Bowie and it was great to share that with him . In fact he had a number of Bowie albums on his Christmas wish list last year . In the last few months before Bowie died , I had Ziggy Stardust playing in my car non stop . I just couldn’t get enough of that album . Then 2 days before he passed , my son found the recording of the Glass Spider show I went to in my teens , and we sat and watched it together . We mourned his death together on my mothers birthday , the 10th of January . To day we were shocked Ian an understatement . David Bowie had become a huge part of our lives , and now he is gone . I’m just grateful to always have his music , and thankful that I can share that with my son . Bowie will never be forgotten .
Rhonda, I’m glad you enjoyed the article! Thanks for the kind words And now we’ve lost Prince. 2016 is proving a horrible year for rock and roll greats. I’ll need to pay tribute to him soon!
I have at last found a way to deal with my grief over David bowie’s death. I have always loved doing crafts and cross stitch is a favourite for me, so I ordered a fabulous cross stitch of him singing in a blue suit. With every stitch I sow I feel like I am bringing him back to life,the picture is made up of over 130,000 stitches so this will take me some time as my eyes are not so good and I can’t sow for as long as I used to. I started the picture on the 10th March and hope to have it finished and framed before the 10th January 2017. Has anyone else found it helpful to deal with their grief by recreating him in some art form. Would like to hear how you are doing.
Yes Julie…I considered getting a tattoo, but that’s not really my personality. I’ve decided to have a bracelet created of a simple chain with a single blackstar on it. It’s something I can wear everyday as a way to keep his memory close.
Hopefully, this summer I will finally get back to painting. I plan to incorporate some of my favorite Bowie lyrics into my compositions.
I don’t want to let him go.
Pcsmith. I did get a tattoo around my left wrist of my memories of him. I have the word starman on the inside of my wrist with a blackstar on each end,these represent my first album being ziggy stardust and my last album obviously being blackstar. On the outside of my wrist I have his name David Bowie with some small stars coloured in the shades of the Aladdin Sane flash and flying up from his name is a Bluebird which is just like him from lazarus. I don’t go around showing my tattoo off as it is very personal to me (not sure what I’m going to do in the summer when wearing short sleeves, I didn’t think that far ahead). Although the tattoo is there forever it really didn’t give me a sense of peace having it done, so I would say think carefully before anyone has a tattoo done to help them come to terms with his death, I have tattoos already so one more didn’t make much difference.
That sounds beautiful Julie! I’d love to see the finished product!!!
I’m dealing with my grief in many ways… I have all David’s albums, so I always have one playing in the house while I work, I pull out my guitar once in a while or my recorder and play some of his songs, watch concerts and interviews on YouTube, watch his movies, and search for favorite photos and do some computer art with them and making an Album of it. Planning on collecting some of his best quotes and song lyrics and putting them together with my art creations and making a little book out of it.
I’m still grieving terribly over him… and I still cry when I watch YouTube stuff or hear a certain song… but he left us so many beautiful gifts that it’s almost as if he is still with us…kinda…
I was born in 1963 and bought my first Bowie album “Diamond Dogs” in 1977. Then I actually got to see him when he came to Australia for his Serious Moonlight Tour and was right in the front. I was nearly only a foot away from this legend. I was in love and have loved him my entire life and always will. His music is the soundtrack of my life and it seemed to me at the time as if he had written it just for me.
I wake up everyday hearing his music usually Blackstar or Lazarus and sometimes Wild is the Wind as its my favourite all time Bowie song and has been forever, My husband and I have been mourning him together. No celebrity or rockstar has ever meant as much to us both as Bowie.
I still cry for him regularly when it seems like everyone else is over it….but I’m not….and never will be. I even wrote a blog about his music and the occult and how it had influenced me and changed my life. There’s so much more but I will stop here now.
How do we thank someone whom has given us all so much to remember!
RIP~David Bowie 1947-2016 I will miss you forever and thank you for all your wonderful contributions to this world.
I was glad to find your post as I was feeling like I was the only one still grieving so badly but now I know differently.
Love always Caz ⭐️⭐️⭐️💖💖💖xoxoxo
Not alone Caz… loved him all my life as you do… I can’t stop mourning either…
I saw Bowie 3 times. My favorite was in 76 as the Thin White Duke.
I was up front as well. I couldn’t stop crying. I was a mess seeing him so close in front of me. His eyes locked to mine and he kneeled down in front of me as he sang… my knees went to jelly! Thought I was gonna die! It was my dream come true that moment. And I will forever hold it tight within my heart… he was my hero… he and his music saved my life as a teen.
My gratitude and love for him will never end……
I’d love to read your blog Caz!
Send a link! xxx
It’s nnow August, and still a part of my brain is resisting processing this. Every now and then the thought “Oh shit, Bowie’s dead.” flings itself, unannounced and unwelcomed, into my head, and it hurts like a bitch all over again. I always hoped I’d get to see him play live, a lesson to get off my arse and make things happen, I guess.
The really messed up thing is that I didn’t know him, but reading the news that Monday, it felt like I’d simultaneously been punched in the gut, had the floor ripped out from under me and had my heart and lungs ripped out through my ribcage. I haven’t felt like that about relatives that I’ve lost. Any of them. Closest to it was losing my Mum, but even that didn’t come as a shock, so the impact just wasn’t on this level.
Like I said, I never knew him, but I can’t recall a time I didn’t know the name David Bowie, or his music. I said, only a week before he passed to someone talking about Lemmy passing and listing a few older legends, Bowie amongst them, and I said don’t say Bowie, I’m banking on him being immortal. Then I saw the video to Lazarus. To say it gave me chills is an understatement. It gave me a particular, all-consuming sense of dread that I rather naively brushed off. The following day, I bumble onto Facebook and some git is posting bullshit about Bowie being dead! This can’t be serious. Check BBC News (not my usual choice but I figure they wouldn’t have anything on it if it’s a hoax.) Only it wasn’t a hoax, was it? And now I’m sitting here, at twenty to one in the morning, seven months later, typing a message that might not get read, to someone I don’t know, about a man I never met.
And all I can think is “Oh shit, Bowie’s dead.”
It’s been read, mate. You might have written my own Bowie grief story for me. I was doing alright for a while, putting Bowie off to one side of my mind, but then along came the six month anniversary, and I spent the day moping, still unable to process the fact that he’s gone. I was born in the early 70s, and Bowie was always THERE. He’d always been there. Always, striding across the cultural landscape. Even in the dark days of the late 80s and 90s, he was still awfully present. Between 2004 and 2013 he was always there too. You only had to look. And then, he suddenly exploded. He reclaimed his crown. He made no public appearances, he played no shows, he gave no interviews. But he was EVERYWHERE. What a master! And then, he was gone. He just backed into the wardrobe, never even gave us a glance, one last look into the distance, and he was gone. What a masterful, poetic exit. Our last glimpse of Bowie on earth. How the hell do we deal with that?
A little more rationally, I do think that so much of our grief over his passing is due in part to his enormous creative renaissance in the last three years. He was gathering pace, and Blackstar is right up there with the most extraordinary albums of his entire career. He wasn’t fading, he was raging against the dying of the light, and he had a whole lot more to give us, a whole lot more that would have mattered, in the way that a new Leonard Cohen album matters, but a new Paul MacCartney one doesn’t.
We’ve been deprived, something vital has been torn from us, and we are all in pain.
the ramifications of Bowie’s passing will never be fully realized save by a few …. music is one of the major “paths” and Bowie was mostly at the fore … he pierced the veil in much the same way as Mozart in his time ….. hopefully it wont be too long before genius regains a foothold on the planet again …. the impression Bowie made upon the spiritual psyche continues unseen yet felt in the most visceral parts of our being
I find myself still humming or singing his songs to myself
he will be missed for a long time
You’re not alone ★
Its been 8 months and i still feel so heart broken. Like a peice of me is missing. I feel lost and confused. Angry sometimes. I dont understand why.
I try to move on but then something comes along and reminds me and i start to feel my sadness all over again.
Its been 8 months, why am i so cut up over this.
Its a curious thing.
He represented so much for me.
When i felt alone or like no one would understand i always knew that he would abe in my thoughts. Just knowing someone was out there just like me. But now it feels like im tryley alone.
Its such a profound thing. Ive never met this man yet he summed up the be all and end all of who i am and now that he is gone i dont know anymore. Life is one giant cloud of dunno….
Funny, just watching horrible news of the world and thinking how much I grieve for Bowie still! Actually googled “still grieving Bowie” and found this blog. Glad i’m not alone.
I’m in NYC on business, and visited a museum in lower Manhattan. From the terrace of the 7th floor, is an amazing view of Bowie’s apartment. I just stared and stared…wishing it just wasn’t so.
That would have been a little surreal. You could see into it? I’d have experienced a wave or strange emotions in your place.
Found this site because every spare minute of the day is spent searching the net for anything Bowie.
Got my first and only tattoo at the age of 41 – the Blackstar symbols spelling Bowie. I love when someone asks ‘what’s that tattoo’ because I love spreading the David Bowie word. I miss him immeasurably.
So happy to have found this site and spot-on article. I stand beside everyone of the commenters in their grief. I sense we’ll all be here again on the one year anniversary …
Hi Joanne! Thanks so much for the kind words. So glad you enjoyed the piece :).
Even now, I am humbled and perplexed at how deeply I still feel this loss. Not day-to-day, exactly, but when I think of him, or I hear his voice surprise me over the radio in a store, I remember, and it is a deep, swelling loss. I have no logical reason for it; i never met him, and only knew of him through a couple of films he was in, just two, The Hunger and Labyrinth, and never listened to his music directly. It is difficult to describe how this feels, because how can one miss a stranger? I love Bowie. Not a silly, lusty romantic love. But a deep, compassion for this man whom I never knew, but somehow, always knew. I feel as if, even now, the world is a little emptier without him. And today, I came across a video clip from the Labyrinth movie of the masquerade music scene, and I felt so sad.. It is as if film and music captured just a sliver of him, and he is alive forever through the love and beauty he brought to us. I feel as if he is a part of me. His song, As the World Falls Down, was what broke the 3am quiet between my husband and I during our very first hang out on Halloween. We danced to it at our wedding for our first dance, and it was during our first year of marriage that we saw the news of his passing. It is a deep loss that we will both remember, always.
It’s been of particular resonance this week with his birthday and anniversary of his passing. I can’t believe a year has passed since he left us.
today – and I think tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow again and again ….oh! now! now in this moment while I’m writing, Lazarus on TV, the video.. tears I think forever
exactly 1 year since Bowie passed and I’s still in a state of semi disbelief
surprised the message board has been so quiet
I wonder which bardo he’s on now?
I can’t believe its one year later as well! We lost so many greats in 2016, but he still resonates the most for me. I’ve been celebrating his birthday by blasting his tunes and I also pre-ordered The Man Who Fell To Earth Blu-ray which I can’t wait to see later this month. We’re lucky to have so many avenues to still experience his greatness.
I will admit now, my post is not about David Bowie but about George Michael.
Having been hit really hard by his death, I searched the internet for an explanation of why I was experiencing such an intense reaction that is showing no signs of resolution. I found this thread, and I hope you don’t mind me sharing my thoughts here.
As a late 80’s teen, George Michael had a huge impact on me. His name was – is – synonymous with feelings of happiness, innocence, friendships and hope. Last week, Careless Whisper came on the radio and suddenly I was 12 again, sitting on the couch with my friends, watching the video and giggling. Father Figure comes on, and I can see us sitting in the back seat of my friend’s dad’s car, getting mass-transported to an English class. Jesus to a Child plays and I’m lying again in bed, in a trance-like state, completely mesmerised by the melody.
I can’t explain why this busy professional is quietly losing it over his death. I’ve made it through Prince, Whitney Houston and even Michael Jackson’s death (all of them constants in my teens and 20s) with not so much as a single tear. But not this one…this loss is ripping me apart, and there’s nobody to commiserate with.
I watched an interview of his, talking about how Freddie Mercury’s death affected him and he said ‘it was like part of my childhood has disappeared’. I could not agree more. I guess it’s partly that, partly the deep sense of regret for getting buried in work for years and not paying enough attention to his work like I used to do as a teenager, and for passing up on the opportunity to see him perform in 2011. Some of it is the wake up call that I got, how not to take anything for granted. I like to convince myself that maybe it was for the better that I didn’t see him perform, that maybe it would have doubled the grief if I had.
I hope this heals soon. I’m happy to have found others who have gone through the same.
It doesn’t need to heal (it won’t, exactly) – but you can transform it – celebrate the music you love
Trying. His best music is very melancholic which doesn’t help. Too soon, maybe.
Sunshine , I understand your pain in losing George Michael . I still feel like I am not over losing David Bowie and it been over a year now . I was so shocked on Christmas Day to hear that the world had lost George Michael . I wasn’t affected quite as deeply as I was when Bowie died , but I was reminded of all of George’s music I have loved for so long, and just took for granted . I think that’s the thing with music . It is the soundtrack to our lives and it accompanies us throughout our journey . It is the song we play when we are going through hard times that brings comfort. It is the song that you sang along to with your friends driving to the beach . It’s the song that you play at your wedding for your first dance . Music is like a constant friend , and when you lose an artist you love who has been with you through those moments , it hits you really hard . I have been playing all my George Michael albums and I just love his ballads especially . He sings with such feeling and passion . The song that really hits me is Mother’s Pride . It is such a powerful song and brings tears to my eyes when I hear it . You are not alone in your grief Sunshine . Keep playing the music 🙂 That is his legacy .
Thanks Rhonda, it’s quite therapeutic to share the same experience with others, albeit involving a different artist! Like your response to learning the news about Bowie, I too felt an incredible sense of confusion, and I haven’t followed his news in a while. It’s when the songs and photos became everywhere on TV in the first few days after his death, that’s when it hit me hard. I think the real gut-wrenching moment though was when I came across a photo that I had as a poster in my bedroom when I was around 14…
The frustrating thing is, people dismiss these feelings and because they don’t understand the sentiments behind them. I am shocked at how the songs evoke in me the same emotions they did 20 years ago. Every time I play a track it’s like I’ve time-travelled; the sounds and images are so vivid in my head. I read a great article about the death of Elvis Presley and something in it resonated strongly with me – “we never forget how we worshipped our teenage heroes.”
I can already feel changed by this experience. I’m just glad I’m able to vent.
Thank you for letting me crash the conversation! 🙂
I’ve never been a big George Michael fan, but I’ve gained such respect for reading about his charity and how he was such a cut above the drivel so many pop musicians stoop to. There was depth there. Praying for Time is one great example. I got chills watching his rehearse Somebody To Love with Queen for the Freddy Mercury tribute concert, with Bowie looking on with absolute admiration. He nailed it.
He did – I love that video. His performance on stage was equally impressive (Bowie’s too). George’s cover of the Beatles’ ‘The Long and Winding Road’ live at the Royal Albert Hall is legendary, an instant tear-jerker.
I have today managed to listen to an entire album without hysterical sobbing. Progress!
David Bowie has always been my favorite singer! Zingy Stardust caught my attention and I have been hooked ever since! I got to see him on tour with Nine Inch Nails and it was the best concert ever! I watched Ziggy Stardust on tv last year on his birthday. It reminded me of why I loved his music and watching him perform. I was shocked that following Ami day when I heard of his passing. It almost felt like I lost a family member. I have been listening to him every day since his last birthday. I feel like he was a huge part of my life.
I envy you for being able to listen to Blackstar. I cannot and most often I can’t listen to Savid’s music at all, the songs were the balancing factors of my equilibrium. I can watch interviews. He was everything to me and he was from the same town as my husband’s family in Bromley. He even had interest in the family. He was so close to my life though since I was 13. I’m a Labyrinth Baby and it stuck. I never let it go and in the end, I can’t seem to move forward. It hurts too much. It’s like a spear in my side.
Dear friend, I am italian and born in 1959. David Bowie was definetly my favourite and beloved singer;even if I wasn’t able to understand his lirycs they touched me so deeply. I Think it was love at first sight! I also feel the Great loss. He always Will be alive inside of me. Almost every day I listen his songs and I hope He can hear his Voice somewhere in the Universe. You Made a Great work! And remember: You are not alone!!!!!You are wonderful!
Elena
hello, so many heartfelt comments on here. I have not cried since David died, I can’t I am still in disbelief even tho I know hes gone. I feel I came from the same soul group as he did as we had so much in common. I saw him live which was magical and I loved him from 1972 when I was 21 till he died . I have books written about him most of his films and music but I love his interviews with people because he never changed he was always the same 🙂 . I have no words to say any more except he was a complete one off and nobody will ever touch him .
Still sad; grief fades and transforms as time passes but with someone like Bowie, we are so lucky to have his music, his many films and millions of photos. You can maintain the connection till you are ready to let go.
The loss of a person relates to how much they meant to you, and how willing you are to accept that relationship has come to an end. I’ve been intolerant of others who cannot seem to get over losing someone like Elvis or Princess Diana. Now I understand the strength of feeling that you can have for someone you never met.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us!
I still have tearful moments even now, especially reading your story. I was lucky enough to be there almost from the beginning, The real regret that I have is not actually going to see him perform on stage. My school friend and I used to go to see many groups, including TREx, Black Sabbath, Colosseum, King Crimson, The Faces, Leon Russell, Deep Purple, in fact quite a few, everything that my friend liked that I did not, BUT when Ziggy was in town, she didn’t want to go!!! I was devastated, I had no one else that wanted to go, and would not go on my own at 16! So, I missed out, then life moved on as our Starman ‘ch ch ch changed’ and evolved and I never got another opportunity, i.e. friends and husband did not want to go!!!!!!!!!!!
I was fortunate to go and see ‘Lazarus’ in London in January 2017, but although it was an amazing experience, and had David’s essence – it was not David himself!
Unfortunately, my mother passed in December 2015, whilst I was in on a wonderful special holiday in Thailand celebrating my 60th Birthday (my husband’s birthday treat), and then pre-ordering ‘Blackstar’ as one of my birthday gifts …… then having a funeral just after Christmas, I thought 2016 – another year, which I thought would be a wonderful year! Then, the ‘Blackstar’ was released,and then just before i received my copy ….. disaster! Our Starman left us!
Since then there has been a large number of dedications, awards, etc, for David and his music, including ‘Blackstar’ and ‘Lazarus’ many of these awards were far too late and should have been presented many years ago, in my view!
I believe David Bowie to be one of the few endearing, eternal influences in music, fashion and attitudes! xxx
just saw the premier of David Bowie: The Last Five Years … very well done and right now I’m feeling nostalgic and blue and I’m missing his presence on this this tired old world
Louis, where did you see the premiere? I know hbo has rights in the U.S, but no airdate yet as I can tell.
SLIS, I live in Montreal Canada .. it was on HBO Canada tonight … sometimes we get specials before you guys … look for it sometime during the next week or two … shouldn’t be much longer …
This still hurts to remember. Rest in peace you beautiful starman.
March 2023
I switched on my TV on Monday January 11th 2016 to learn of David Bowie’s passing having not had chance to listen to Black ☆ at that time it was like learning of ‘DIANA’ all over again – ie the LAST thing i was expecting to see/hear, except this was personal to me, I was approaching my 49th Birthday a couple/so months later & I’d been listening to him since I was TEN years old & from aged 16 to 36 seen him perform live 5 times. Even now 7 years on it’s STILL difficult for me to be thinking of him in the past tense – instead – I think of him as being the age he SHOULD/WOULD be but in a better happier 🙏 place, I lit a candle to mark this years anniversary – as i was watching the flame it reminded me of his smile lighting up his face, the light in his eyes & the brighter happier 🌎 that I like to think he is now in.
Still feeling it 🪽
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