A great movie should obviously avoid annoying characters.
They need to be relatable. Most important are the protagonist and antagonist. One you love to love, and the other you love to hate. Great supporting characters matter too.
But what happens when you loathe a character you’re supposed to love? That’s either bad writing, a terrible performance, or both.
I’m not talking about a purposely annoying character like Bill Paxton’s “Hudson” in “Aliens”. He made you laugh, and you ultimately rooted for him. I mean one that diminishes the enjoyment of the film, sometimes ruining it completely.
With that in mind, here are 16 characters that have polluted the silver screen:
16. “The Burbs”(1989)-Art Weingartner
- The Turds
The epitome of the annoying neighbor, Weingartner (Rick Ducommun) makes an already sub-par horror comedy that much worse. I only saw this film once, more than 20 years ago, and this guy still lingers like a dog fart. Ugh.
15.”Weird Science” (1985)-Wyatt Donnelly
“Weird Science” is remembered fondly for several reasons. Wyatt Donnelly is not one of them. A grating twerp with a high-pitched squeal (“Garyyyyyy!!!!”), he’s ghastly. Ilan Mitchell Smith wisely bowed out of acting shortly thereafter .
14. “Spawn”(1997)-Clown/Violator
This film made my Worst Comic Book Films Ever Made list. John Leguizamo did his part to stink it up as Clown, aka Violator (and boy were audiences violated). Too bad he couldn’t be called Mime instead. Listen to this tool:
13. “House Of A 1000 Corpses” (2003)/”The Devil’s Rejects”(2005)-Vera-Ellen “Baby” Firefly
Shari Moon Zombie is lovely, but her acting skills are hideous. And her high-pitched cackle will make you wish these were silent movies.
12. “Jurassic Park” (1993)-Lex And Tim Murphy
Spielberg should have stuck to the darker tone of Michael Crichton’s novel. But he had to go for cuteness with Lex and Tim Murphy (Ariana Richards and Joseph Mazzello), 2 brats who get people killed due to their idiocy. Oh how I long for a cut where they wound up in Dino-droppings. The film is still enjoyable, but they tested audience’s patience.
11. “Reality Bites” (1994)-Troy Deier
Troy (Ethan Hawke) is a pretentious, unemployed slacker douche, who toys with Leliana’s (Winona Ryder) emotions. But given his mixed signals, she winds up dating Michael, a tv executive (played by Ben Stiller).
But deciding he’s too corporate (even though he’s the nicer guy), she ditches him and sleeps with Troy, who shuns her afterwards. Classy. Later he apologizes (“I have a whole plant of regret”..zzzz) and she falls for the greasy haired turd, to live hand to mouth ever after. She sure showed Michael! One of the worst movies of the 90’s.
10. “Cloverfield”(2008)-Everyone
[amazon_image id=”B0018QCXGY” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Cloverfield [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]
I’ve never hated an entire cast more than this one. A bunch of entitled, unbearable hipster morons. The opening party scene is so painful that I almost stopped the film before the monster ever showed up. Luckily I stayed with it and saw them all perish.
9. “The Wicker Man” (2006)-Edward Malus
The original 1973 film is a cult classic. This remake is a train wreck, with a sub-par story and a role that Nicolas Cage butchers beyond disbelief (even by his standards). Just watch this clips below to give you a taste. It really defies description.
8. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974)-Franklin
With a nasal twang that even makes this fellow Texan recoil in disgust, Franklin (Paul A. Partain) invites hatred from frame one with his nagging and self-pity. When Leatherface cuts through him with his buzzsaw its sweet relief. Tell me he wasn’t asking for it.
There’s a pretty funny YouTube series on annoying characters which features him in all his whining glory.
7. “Death Proof” (2007)-The Ladies
Tarantino’s gift for gab failed him here. Kurt Russell rules as serial killer Stuntman Mike, but the film’s hampered by tedious small talk between 2 separate sets of young women who all talk like Tarantino, i.e. thereby sounding nothing like young women.”Death Proof” is still worth seeing for Russell and the great stunts (actress/stuntwoman Zoe Bell is more in her element there), but it’s a lopsided film. Robert Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” is the better half of the “Grindhouse” Double-Feature.
6. “Star Wars” Prequels (1999-2005)-Anakin Skywalker
Who do you like less, the little kid yelling “Yippee!” in “The Phantom Menace” (Jake Lloyd) , or bratty teenage Anakin (Hayden Christensen)? Take your pick because they both blow as Darth Vader pre-mask.
5.”Batman Forever (1995)/Batman and Robin”(1997) -Robin
“Batman and Robin” was #1 on my worst comic book films list, and Chris O’Donnell’s Robin hurt both films. He seemed way to old for the part, thereby making his petulant teen whining even more off-putting. He helped put the “dick” in Dick Grayson.
4. “Collision Course”(1989)-Tony Costas
Did you know Jay Leno starred in a buddy cop movie? If the answer is no, count yourself lucky. Leno’s nasal squawk doesn’t scream tough guy, and comedically this film is tone-deaf. The fact that Leno never starred as a lead again speaks volumes.
Check out this clip which also features Pat Morita. Too bad he stopped the car.
3. “The Fifth Element”(1997)-Ruby Rhod
Chris Tucker’s helium-esque vocals lends itself to annoyance. But he went over the top here and audiences blood pressure soared. If they played an air raid siren instead it would’ve been more pleasant. Too bad the film wasn’t called “The 5th Amendment” so he could remain silent.
2. “Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom”(1984)-Willie Scott
Spielberg fell in love with future wife Kate Capshaw while filming this sequel. Obviously love was blind while he was directing, because she had zero chemistry with Harrison Ford and gives one of the most grating, shrill, unsympathetic performances ever. Indy must have kept drinking the Blood Of Kali to fall for Willie. I was longing for a “Raiders” style face-melting myself.
1. “Star Wars” Prequels (1999-2005)-Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Stinks. His stupid voice, stupid face, and ability to screw up everything makes him worthy of the chopping block. And that he quoted “Wayne’s World” with “Ex-squeeze Me” is beyond the pale. We’ll never know exactly why Lucas lost his way, but it probably has to do with a bunch of yes-men who were afraid to tell him the truth.
So that’s my 16 Most Annoying Movie Characters . Which ones would you have added? Chime in below. I didn’t list the “Twilight” films, or any Tyler Perry movies because I’ve never seen them, but they certainly look wretched, so I know there’s more to add!
You might also enjoy my list of Best Worst Movies, Top 10 Best MST3K episodes and Lamest Comic Book Characters….
*And enjoy this rifftrax goof on “Cloverfield” (“Phantom Menace” is up top):