The Poll Results Are In For The Worst Sequels of All Time!

Alright folk’s the vote’s are in for The Worst Sequels To Good Movies.

I have tied entires arranged in alphabetical order. And if you’re a glutton for punishment (or disagree with these picks), I’ll have Amazon links under each entry.

Here’s the Top, i.e. Bottom 15: 

 

15. Caddyshack II (3%)

[amazon_image id=”B000YADG5M” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Caddyshack 2[/amazon_image]

This received enough unofficial votes to justify inclusion. I’ve never seen it, and never will! In the words of the late Rodney Dangerfield in the original Caddyshack:  Did somebody step on a duck ?

 

14. Conan The Destroyer (3%)

[amazon_image id=”B00509KXVC” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Conan the Destroyer [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

Conan The Destroyer looks like a TV movie compared to its R-rated predecessor. The producers toned  down the violence for a PG rating and it suffers for it. And Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wooden acting was in fine company alongside Wilt Chamberlain and Olivia D’abo.

 

13. Iron Man II (3%)

[amazon_image id=”B0021L8V1Q” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Iron Man 2 (Three-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo)[/amazon_image]

They should have just called it Let’s Kill Time Before The Avengers. Because it has no compelling story in its own right, serving just to drop Easter Eggs to build up Marvel’s pet project.

Iron Man 3 was better, even if it pissed on comic book lore.

 

12. Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen (3%)

[amazon_image id=”B001KZIRM2″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Two-Disc Special Edition) [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

Michael’s Bay Transformers sequel is a big poop cannon for your eyes. The nonsensical CGI transformations literally gave me a headache. Not much else to say given the storyline was an afterthought.

 

11. Alien 3 (4%)

[amazon_image id=”B004RE29WW” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Alien 3 [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

(SPOILER ALERT)

Alien 3 was a big middle finger to Aliens fans, because Ripley’s surrogate family get offed right at the beginning. Alien 3 has her alone and suffering on a dismal prison planet, where 99% of the population speaks in a British accent for no discernible reason. And thanks to sub-par effects, the alien involved looks like a big wet writhing turd.

No wonder director David Fincher has disowned the film.

 Click here for my list of the Best Movie Sequels of All Time.

 

10. Dumb And Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (4%)

[amazon_image id=”B001TU5UKU” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd[/amazon_image]

The very notion of recasting the parts of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels was one of the dumberests ideas in comedy movie history. No one needed a prequel to see how two idiots met. That’s not what makes them funny.

See also, Son of the Mask.

 

9. Jaws 4: The Revenge (4%)

[amazon_image id=”B00008WFU5″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Jaws: The Revenge[/amazon_image]

Jaws 4 has a big fat 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I think that’s giving it too much credit. The plot about sharks seeking revenge on Sheriff Brody’s family is bat-shit enough (or shark shit). But for his widow to have a psychic connection to them?? I guess Michael Caine really needed the money to co-star in this travesty. Best to stick with the original.

 

8. A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (4%)

[amazon_image id=”0780630858″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 – Freddy’s Revenge[/amazon_image]

What happens you cross an unintentionally hilarious homoerotic plot with a demonic parakeet? A  piss poor second installment of the Elm Street Series (but, let’s face it, all the sequels sucked.)

 

7. Batman Forever (6%)

[amazon_image id=”B0039208CG” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Batman Forever [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

Joel Schumacher staged Batman Forever like a lurid Vegas stage show. It’s campy tone was off-putting and Chris O’Donnell made for the most obnoxious sidekick in cinematic history. And not even Jim Carrey and Tommy lee Jones could class up the joint. But there was far worse bat guano to come…

 

6. Escape From L.A. (6%)

[amazon_image id=”B00AEFYDGI” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]John Carpenter’s Escape From L.A. [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

How could John Carpenter and Kurt Russell make such a bad sequel to the awesome Escape From New York? God, lets us count the ways. Piss poor effects (remember that surfing scene?) were one thing, and the jokes were just as stale as Russell’s wardrobe.

 

5. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (7%)

[amazon_image id=”B001E75QGG” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

This movie started off promisingly, but then Shia LaDouche showed up as “Mutt” and all bets were off. George Lucas continues his tradition of ruining his classic creations. Not even Spielberg could right the ship.

 

4. Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (7%)

[amazon_image id=”B000IJ79XE” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Superman IV – The Quest for Peace (Deluxe Edition)[/amazon_image]

Christopher Reeves lofty anti-nuke message was botched by a disastrous budget and script. Having a villain named Nuclear Man didn’t help. Nor did the addition of Lenny Luthor, Lex Luthor’s annoying nephew (Jon Cryer).

Click here for my list of Worst Comic Book Movies where I expand on its  awfulness.

 

3. Spider-Man 3 (10%)

[amazon_image id=”B000UR9T7I” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Spider-Man 3 [Blu-ray][/amazon_image]

Another film that made my worst comic book movie list. But to sum it up; Emo-Peter Parker. Bad Dance Scene. A waste of Venom and Sandman. Makes me angry just thinking about it again!!

 

2. Batman And Robin (11%)

[amazon_image id=”B001OST0M6″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Batman & Robin[/amazon_image]

This movie was #2 on my worst comic book movies list, so check it out for my full wrath. But to summarize: Bat Ice Capades. Schwarzenegger saying bad one liners like Let’s kick some ice. Robin screaming Cowabunga. Bat-nipples!!!

Joel Schumacher made a DVD commentary track and while he apologized for the movie, he rubbed salt in the wound by saying: It’s only a Batman movie. Thank God Christopher Nolan made this fart-fest a distant, yet painful memory.

Hopefully Ben Affleck won’t stink it back up again.

 

1. Star Wars Episode I:The Phantom Menace (13%)

[amazon_image id=”B00076RT24″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace[/amazon_image]

I remember the day I saw The Phantom Menace.  I’d been excited for weeks. My friends and I filed into the theater. Then I heard John William’s opening score, followed by the scrolling type. I had goosebumps. And then I got nauseous.

Seeing a young, carefree Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd)  yelling yippee was unforgivable. Darth Vader should never yell yippee. EVER. And sadly the phrase George Lucas killed my childhood, didn’t just apply to disappointed fans, but also Lloyd who got ridiculed by his classmates, and is bitter about the whole experience. Poor guy:

I don’t think I need to revisit Jar-Jar anymore because it makes me mad just thinking about him. But click here for my list of Most Annoying Movie Characters where I give him his due.

So those are the 15 Worst Sequels Of All Time as voted by you. As for the other entries, both Matrix sequels, Mad Max:Beyond Thunderdome, Superman III, BTTF II, Hannibal and Pirates II all came in at 1%.

X-3, European Vacation and Halloween: Resurrection got nada.

So do you agree with the ranking? Think some films were unfairly targeted? Well, you should’ve voted! But feel free to chime in below.